I’m the luckiest man in the world. As we drive from the airport to my father’s house, I thread my fingers between Lila’s and hold her hand on my lap. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago, making our baby the perfect Christmas surprise.
Lila giggles when I move my free hand to her stomach. “Duke, it’s too early to feel a kick.”
I can’t wait to see what Lila will look like with my baby in her belly. She’s shown me pictures of her carrying Max, who doesn’t know about the baby yet. We want to wait until the second trimester before we tell anyone.
“I hope it’s a girl,” I whisper into her ear.
Raising Kat was one of the highlights of my life. I would love to do it all over again from the beginning with my child. I want to create a small army with Lila, though she doesn’t seem too keen on the idea of popping out kids every year.
Lila covers my hand with hers, holding it against her stomach. She smiles so wide it reaches up to her bright blue eyes. “I’m nervous. One or two Baldwins at the same time isn’t that bad, but all of you in one room—”
“Don’t worry. They love you.” I rub my hand over her stomach and whisper, “You, too.”
We considered telling my family, but Lila vetoed the idea immediately. She’s superstitious about the first trimester. Lila had a miscarriage before she conceived Max and doesn’t want to jinx her pregnancy. This is also the first time Lila is meeting Kat, Dean, and Baby Noah, who flew in from Philly for the occasion.
Lila leans into me and rests her head on my shoulder. I love this woman more than life itself. For years, I avoided intimacy with women, too afraid to commit. I will always be scared of losing Lila, but like my father did with my mom, I have to go all-in. I now understand him more than I did before I met Lila. Over the past year, I have learned to forgive him and put the past behind us. I no longer have to fake our interactions in front of my siblings. We’re back to the way we used to be.
Max presses her face to the window as we drive onto the Baldwin Estate. “You live here?” She turns to look at me, her mouth open in shock.
A massive wrought iron gate stretches around several acres of land. In the spring and summer, the property is surrounded by bright flowers that overflow from the beds. But it’s winter in Chicago, which means it’s cold enough to get your nose stuck to the gate. Trust me, I know from experience.
“I did when I was younger.”
“Wow!” Max’s eyes widen. “How big is this place?”
Lila looks equally shocked by the sheer size of my father’s mansion. He built my mother her dream house fit for raising children. When my dad first had the home constructed, we were among the few families in this part of the neighborhood. I’ve been looking at houses for us in D.C. Lila doesn’t know I bought her an engagement ring and that I plan to enlist Max’s help when I ask her to marry me.
“Wait until you see the bowling alley in the basement,” I tell her.
Max claps her hands to her cheeks and squeals. “You have your own bowling alley?”
“My dad does.”
“And I thought Ted was rich,” Lila quips.
“We have a movie theater, too.”
Lila laughs. “Why am I not surprised?”
Max gasps. “Are you kidding?”
I shake my head, and Max screams with delight.
“Mommy,” Max says, tugging on Lila’s coat. “Can we live at Duke’s daddy’s house?”
“No, baby,” Lila says with a chuckle. “We have to go back to D.C. on Sunday. Mommy has patients to see on Monday, and Duke has to get back to his team.”
Max frowns. “You’re no fun.”
Lila points her finger at the window with a confused look on her face. “Is that shrub shaped like Santa?”
I slide my hand across her back, resting my hand on her hip. “Christmas at the Baldwin Estate is like no other. My dad goes all out. It’s his favorite holiday.”
“I can see that,” Lila says in shock.
The shrubs on the front lawn are trimmed to look like Santa Claus and his reindeer. At night, colored lights illuminate the scene, making it look as though it has come to life. I grew up with this ridiculous display every Christmas. I always liked Halloween more, though now that I know myself better, I wonder if I chose the holiday because I was mad at my dad. Therapy has made me see things differently, and because of Lila, I’m now a functional adult.
The driver helps Lila and Max out of the SUV, and then I lead my girls inside the house. I tip my nose in the air and get a good whiff of gingerbread cookies. My dad’s personal chef makes dozens of cookies, everything from gingerbread men to snickerdoodles. I had a picture-perfect childhood.