Roughing

As he lifts the burger to his mouth, he burns a hole through me with his eyes.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” My tone demands an answer.

“I want to make sure you’re not going to pass out on me.” He speaks between bites. “And you’re not bad to look at.”

“Not bad to look at?” I snicker. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, defensive.

“I’m sure.” I stare out the window, shoving a fry into my mouth.

Bash reaches across the table and touches my chin with his finger to get my attention. “Hey, don’t be like that. I think you’re beautiful, always have. You’re one of the hottest girls on campus.”

Our eyes meet for a second, melting away my anger, but it’s not enough to make me forget. “Now, I know you’re full of shit.”

His laughter fills the quiet air. Even though he should be pissed, he seems entertained by my attitude. “Queenie, I swear…” he says in a playful tone. “Will you ever forgive me? It’s been years. Would you just let it go already?”

“No.” I shake my head, shoveling my food into my mouth like a ravenous beast. “I will not let it go. If I had done the same thing to you, I doubt you would forgive me. So, why do you deserve another chance?”

“Because there are two sides to every story, and you never bothered to listen to mine. You dismiss me every time I get near you.”

“I wish you’d stop calling me Queenie. You could start with that.”

“You didn’t have a problem with it before.”

“First off, I only tolerated that stupid nickname because I was in love with you.”

I stop myself from saying more about the love part. He seems confused, upset, even. It’s hard to tell with the room spinning.

Lowering my voice to a whisper, I say, “I gave you my virginity, Bash. You should know by now that I’m not the kind of girl who hops into bed with just anyone.”

He reaches out to touch my forearm, and for some reason, I let him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’ve tried to apologize for years. Why can’t you have a civilized conversation with me?”

“We could stop talking about the past. How about that? Let’s move on and finish our food so that we can get the hell out of here. I’m sure you have something or someone you could be doing instead of hanging out with me. I’m sure there’s some football trash lingering in your bedroom, naked and ready for you.”

“Nope, I can’t think of a single thing I want to do more than sitting here with your cranky ass.” He smiles, and it’s contagious because he provokes a half-smile from me.

How am I still drawn to him after all the shit he put me through in the past? I hate that his presence alone fills my stomach with nervous energy.

“I’m shocked,” I deadpan. “Here, I thought you’d have girls or keg stands to attend to.”

Bash smirks, swallowing the rest of his burger. “And that’s where you’re wrong about me. There’s more to me than parties and hot chicks.”

“Right,” I say, laughing, “there’s also football.”

He shakes his head, somewhat entertained. “You’re impossible. You must be feeling better if your sense of humor has returned.”

“A little concussion won’t keep me from laying on the sarcasm,” I say, popping the last fry into my mouth.

“I see that.” Bash flashes a broad grin and a perfect set of white teeth. Everything about him is flawless. Why does he have to be so damn perfect all the time? I think I hate him more because of it. Because it’s his perfections that make me like him more. His imperfections…well, those are the reason we’re not together. And he has plenty of those.

My shoulders slump against the booth, as I take a second to pull myself together. The room hasn’t stopped spinning since we walked into McDonald’s. The lights are all of a sudden too bright. A brush of heat spreads from my cheeks to my neck and down my arms. I’m hot, so fucking hot I feel as though I could pass out at any moment. And for once, Bash has nothing to do with it.

“I don’t feel good. We need to leave,” I choke out, struggling with the words.

Bash slides off the bench and comes around to my side of the table, helping me up to my feet. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ve gone through this before. Don’t worry, Tori. I know what to do.”

As soon as we make it into my dorm room, I get sick again. This time, Bash holds my hair while I puke and rubs my back. He’s acting like the person I once knew. And I like it. His behavior makes me miss him and what we had together.