He shrugs. “I’ve been called worse.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I glance out the window for a few seconds to give myself a break from our staring contest. When Shawn looks at me, he studies me to the point that I wonder if I have something on my face. He doesn’t miss a single freckle or a pimple with how hard he analyzes me. Shawn is waiting for me to confess. It’s only a matter of time before I accidentally confirm his suspicions.
What would happen if he knew the truth? Could we be together? Would everything change between us? I don’t want that. Even though this is all new, I like the man I am getting to know through our tutoring sessions, and I don’t want to mess this up.
After the bus sets off down Broad Street, I muster up enough courage to break the awkward silence between us. “How come you followed me onto the bus?”
He slides his arm across the back of the bench as if this is also normal, and his fingers linger at the nape of my neck. “Because I told you I would take you home, and I meant every word. What kind of guy would I be if I didn’t keep my promise?”
“You offered to take me home, and I declined. Big difference.” A wicked grin turns up the corners of my mouth.
I expect him to say something sarcastic in response. Instead, Shawn takes his other hand and raises it to my face. My skin tingles with each stroke of his thumb, putting me at ease. He has this way about him that causes me to lower my guard around him. When we’re together, he’s just Shawn, the guy who needs a tutor to graduate and is desperately trying to fit in. I love this side to him.
“Are you always this difficult?” His steel blue eyes pierce a hole through mine, luring me further into his trap.
“Are you always this touchy?”
He stops moving, with his fingers still pressed against my jaw, and a sly smile crosses his lips. “No, but I like touching you. Is this not okay?”
Unsure of how to respond, I nod my approval.
His eyes never leave mine, not even for a second. It’s intense and alarming. I want to tell him how much I love his hands all over me, how much I loved the way his tongue felt as it tangled with mine. I still have the sensation that ran through my body with each flick of his tongue against my nipples branded into my mind. I have to live with the memory of our night together and leave it at that. Some things are better left unsaid and in the past.
Part of me fears that I will ruin my perfect memory if this turns into something more. As much as I would like to give in to Shawn and allow him to consume my entire life, I know he will be here one day and gone the next. I cannot set myself up for the impending failure of what could happen between us. Most of all, I don’t want unwanted attention for the rest of the school year all because I kissed a hot football player.
We stare at each other until Shawn breaks the silence, snapping me out of my daze. “Do you take the bus every day?”
“Pretty much. I had a car when my dad was alive. I drove to school for the first year, but the summer of his death, my stepmother sold my car. Now, I take the bus everywhere I go.”
“She sounds like a bitch.” His mouth opens wide, and he bites down on the corner of his mouth. “I mean…I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
I push my hand out to stop him from feeling guilty. “You have no idea how much I hate Clarissa. I call her Bitch Mother behind her back. I’m lucky that she gives me enough money to take the bus. With how much time school takes up, it would be impossible to work on top of the list of chores and tasks she has me do in exchange for paying my tuition.”
He flinches as if hearing this part of my life causes him physical pain. I never tell anyone about my life because I don’t want their pity. People tend to look at me as a charity case or someone they need to help when they find out about Clarissa.
Instead of a sympathetic look, Shawn’s face remains unreadable. He squeezes my hand tight and mutters, “That sounds brutal. I’m sorry you have to live that way.”
“It is what it is.” I turn my head to look out the window. “I don’t mind riding the bus. In fact, I enjoy it. This may sound weird, but the ride home is sometimes peaceful after a long day. Plus, I don’t have to drive myself, which makes it even better. I haven’t driven in so long that when I do, it’s nerve-wracking.”
The city is so full of life at this hour with all the cars zipping past us as we stop to pick up more passengers along the route. People come and go with each stop, but all I see is Shawn.
I consider myself lucky that Shawn is sitting next to me on the bus, of all places, and offering to walk me home. Things like this never happen to me. What happens when he finds a replacement for his mystery girl and all of this goes away? I would be devastated because I like him more with each second that passes.
“I can see that.” He still has my hand in his, stroking my skin softly. “Sitting here with you is relaxing. I may even fall asleep before we get to your house.”
“The bus doesn’t go all the way to my house.”
“Then, I guess I had better get my beauty sleep so that I can walk you to your door.” He winks at me and leans his head back. “As your new study buddy, I cannot let anything happen to you.”
“Technically, we are not studying. I am your tutor. You see, there’s a big difference.”
“How do you figure? You study with me, therefore making us study buddies. My logic is perfect.”
“Your logic is flawed,” I counter.
“Know-it-all,” he shoots back.
I roll my eyes at him in a playful manner. “You’re not cute so stop acting like it.”