Chapter Eighteen
Jade
Men are such a pain in the ass when they’re sick. And Killian is being one giant asshole right now.
“You can’t push me away, Killian.” I stand over his bed, my hands on my hips, glaring down at him. “I’ll strap myself to your fucking headboard so you can’t get rid of me. I’m not going anywhere. Just because you’re mad about not being able to play hockey ever again, doesn’t mean you get to kick me to the curb. Nope, not gonna happen.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “You’re so stubborn. You never take no for an answer, do you?”
“Isn’t that what you like about me?”
“It’s definitely a reason we’re together. If you hadn’t been so persistent about being involved in my life, we wouldn’t be here right now, that’s for sure.”
“Let me help you, Killian. I want to take care of you.”
“I’m not dying. I have a broken arm, not cancer. There are people who have real problems. You know, your talents would be better suited at helping them.”
Ever since he broke his arm, I’ve been here to take care of him. Hearing him say that’s one of my talents has only reinforced the fact that I’ve been thinking about a career change. I like nursing people back to health.
“I know, but let me stay with you.” I sit on the edge of the bed next to him. “Don’t push me away. We need to work through this together and not work against each other.”
“I love you,” he mutters under his breath, and his words take me by surprise. “But I don’t fucking deserve you. You should walk away while you still can. Not like my life is going anywhere now. You could have a better life with someone else.”
His words take me by surprise. He loves me? Or is it the fact he’s taking handfuls of pain pills at a time. I don’t even think he needs them for the pain, more like to put himself out of his misery. All he’s done since the accident is lie in bed and wallow. I don’t blame him. If all of my dreams were no longer a reality, I don’t know how well I would take the news either.
“You don’t mean that, Killian.”
“Yes, I do,” he slurs with one eye open. “I knew there was something special about you from the beginning. You’re a hard person not to love. Stealing your car was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Oddly enough, that’s the cutest thing you’ve ever said to me.” I hold my hand over his, pinning it to the mattress. “I love you, too, Killian. I’d have to either be crazy or crazy in love to do the things I do for you.”
He tilts his head to the side, half awake. I can tell the medicine is taking its toll on him. He’s been fighting sleep for a while now.
“Maybe a little bit of both,” he says with a hint of a smile on his lips.
Even doped up on pain pills and barely awake, he’s still the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on. I still see the boy I sat next to during freshman orientation when I look at him, except now he’s all man. And all mine. He can push me away all he wants, but I’m not going anywhere. I won’t allow him to mess up everything good in his life. No matter how much I show him I love him, he’ll never think he’s good enough for me. But he shows me every day that he’s everything I ever wanted, my very own knight in casted armor.
I never thought we’d make it this far, but we have, and now I worry about his future. If he doesn’t have hockey as a career option, where will that leave him? Will he follow his friends down a path of destruction, or will he do the right thing and try to get a job working in tech.
I can only hope and pray that his arm heals correctly, and that the NHL is still an option for him. The only reason he’s even at this college and paying the hefty tuition is to make it pro. My heart hurts for Killian as he dozes off, both eyes now closed and a soft snore escaping his lips. He’s sacrificed so much to get where he is right now. I don’t want one wrong decision and bad luck to take it all away from him.
I cuddle up next to him in his bed. For the last two weeks, I’ve been taking care of him. I guess that makes me his nurse which made me realize I like helping people. For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Through all the sadness and pain, I’ve somehow managed to find my purpose.