“Fuck,” Keith said on a sigh as he dropped back down on the couch.
“Why?” Ronnie sniffed. “Why do you do it? He’s been so ugly to you your entire life. To all of us. Why would you want to help him?”
“Seriously,” Jagger piped in. He hadn’t showered or shaved, and a dark shadow covered his usually smooth jaw. “I was oblivious until Ronnie told me. Has this been going on long?”
Shame washed over Keith as he nodded. “Since Mom’s death.”
Ronnie gasped.
“What is it exactly that you’re doing?” Jimmy asked with a confused voice. Being so far for so long often had him out of the loop with regards to family matters. No one meant to exclude him, but with the time difference and how busy he was, Jimmy often missed out.
Keith had tried for so long to keep it a secret, confessing now felt like he was being carved up with a scalpel. “I mostly drag him home from bars before he can get arrested for anything more than public intoxication.” Then he dropped his voice and nearly whispered, “Sometimes bail him out financially.”
“Jesus,” Jagger ground out. He dropped his face to his hands for a second before spearing Keith with a baffled look. “Why? And why by yourself? There are fucking six of us. You don’t need to deal with this shit alone.”
Whether it was the ambush or the deep delve into his secret activities making him feel so raw, didn’t matter. Keith needed out. He needed air, space, and something to think about besides the man who’d tried so hard to ruin his life and still had a grip on him. The pitying looks on his siblings' faces made him sick. He’d rather they all get pissed off like Ronnie’s initial reaction than look at him as though he were pathetic. If he didn’t get some air, he was likely to explode, and none deserved it.
“I can’t—look, I’ll tell you guys everything, but can we do it later? I’m not up for talking about it right now. I need to—I just need to get out of here.”
“I hope you know that after today, we aren’t going to let you handle it on your own. We’re involved now no matter how much you fucking hate it.” JP was unusually somber, which told Keith just how serious they were. “So, sure, you can run away for a bit, but you will tell us all of it tonight. And you can’t leave until you tell us what that phone call five minutes ago was about.”
He flopped back on the couch, staring at the dusty ceiling fan. “Dad’s two months delinquent on the trailer’s lot rent.”
“What? So Harvey called to hit you up for it?” JP asked.
“Yeah. Dad told him I was good for it.”
“Fuck that,” JP spat out. “You told him no, right?”
He stared at his brother’s angry face.
“You were gonna pay?” Ronnie asked. Her voice cracked as though she were heartbroken over the news. “Keith, why? I don’t understand. He was an abusive, lazy addict who never even tried to take care of his family. And of all of us, you had it the worst. He was horrible to you.”
Throwing his arms up in the air, he shouted, “Because I made a promise to Mom, all right?”
The room fell eerily quiet. The weight of his siblings’ stares hurt his heart.
He blew out a breath. Might as well get it the fuck over with. “Right before Mom died, she begged me to promise I’d help the old man. To keep him from getting hurt or dying alone.”
“Oh, Keith,” Ronnie said. She wrung her hands together in her lap. “We all loved Mom as much as you, but she never should have put that burden on you. She’d just had major brain surgery and wasn’t thinking rationally at the end. You should have shared this with us years ago. I’m so sorry you’ve carried this load all alone.”
“Our big brother would never do that,” JP said with a lopsided grin. “He’d lie in the street and let a tank run over him to keep the bad shit from reaching us.”
Keith’s head had been so twisted with guilt, love, responsibility, and that damn promise to his mother for too long. Now that he’d begun to unwind the complicated emotions, it all came spilling out his mouth. “I left,” he blurted. “I left you all here to deal with him for four years while I joined the military. Mom died six months after I returned home. I owe it to her, to make up for leaving. And I owe it to you all for the years I wasn’t here to shield you from his toxicity.”
“Jesus,” Jagger said as he rubbed his temples. “You’ve seriously been carrying this shit for more than fifteen years? Keith, none of us resent you for joining the military. The only reason we were able to afford this house was because of that money. You didn’t abandon us. You made a sacrifice for us.”