With another light laugh she didn’t feel, she said, “Guys, it’s no big deal. I just avoid mirrors and close my eyes when I’m changing or showering. You’d be amazed at how good I am at blind shaving.” She gave them a sunny grin.
When neither man so much as cracked a smile, her bravado deflated.
“Don’t play it off, Jazzy,” Screw said. “You need to look. You need to see that you haven’t been destroyed. That you’re beautiful.” He cupped the back of her neck. “You can’t live your life afraid of your own skin. What about men? What about sex?”
Her damn stomach began to quiver, and her breath felt stunted. She rolled her eyes. “Leave it to you to turn this into a sex thing.”
Screw didn’t take the bait. The compassion and understanding in his gaze edged too close to pity to be tolerable, so she pulled away and put a few feet of distance between them.
“He’s not making it a sex thing, Jazzy.”
God, now Gumby decided to take Screw’s side?
“It’s a legitimate concern. Are you going to close yourself off from relationships, from pleasure for the rest of your life?” Gumby reached for her but she stepped back.
“I pleasure myself just fine,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t need to stare at a mess of scars to use my vibrator.”
She didn’t miss the way Screw’s nostrils flared and his jaw tightened. “What about comfort? What about connection? What about sharing a life with someone?” he asked.
Jazz’s head fell back on her shoulders as a genuine laugh bubbled out of her. “Oh, that’s rich. That how you view the future, Screw? Pretty sure you think that’s all a load of bullshit. You don’t need any of it to get off, so why the fuck would I?”
“Because you’re a better person than I am.” He got in her face. “Because you deserve what Toni and Shell have. What Izzy and Chloe and Holly have. You deserve it fucking all.” His voice rose to a yell, and she fought the urge to run and hide.
“Screw, come on, man.” Gumby pulled him back with a hand on his shoulder. It lingered far longer than acceptable before stroking a path down Screw’s back. The men shared a look, heated and full of longing. The connection between them took her right back to the scene she’d observed in the bunk room the other night.
She’d much rather focus on that than the mess of her own life. Time for a subject change.
Jazz cocked her head. “You know, I saw you two.”
Both men froze, but Gumby’s was the only face she saw as Screw had turned his back to her. He cleared his throat. “Saw us?”
“Mm-hmm. At the clubhouse.”
Gumby paled.
Screw turned, wide-eyed. “And what is it you think you saw?”
“Your mouth. His cock.” She nudged her chin in Gumby’s direction before noticing the man looked ready to throw up.
Shit.
Making him uncomfortable wasn’t the point here. Was he worried she’d be angry? Jealous? Or worse, was he ashamed of his desires?
A smirk tilted Screw’s lips. “Yeah, I sucked his cock. Fucking loved it too. And he’s lying if he tells you he didn’t fucking love it. Guy came like a geyser.”
Even though Gumby appeared ready to bolt, she plowed on. “Saw that too.” Jesus, what the hell was wrong with her? There she was again, pushing because she felt cornered, just as she’d done in the diner only this time her words were cutting a man who didn’t deserve harshness from her.
“You know this won’t work, right?” Screw said, slowly stalking toward her.
She was trapped, pinned by his piercing gaze. “I don’t know what you mean,” she whispered.
He circled behind her, placing his lips at her ear. “You’re trying to shock us. Make us forget what happened to you. It won’t work. Look at him.” She glanced at Gumby, who now wore a look of understanding, though an underlying current of guilt and maybe even shame still flowed from him.
“He wants you,” Screw said. His warm breath tickled the sensitive skin of her ear, making goose bumps erupt all over her skin. “Wants to touch you, taste you, feel you. And so do I.”
Her breath hitched. “Oh, my God,” she whispered as moisture pooled between her legs. This had to be a dream. How could they want her, knowing what they’d uncover once she was bare to them?
A change came over Gumby. His eyes smoldered and he seemed to grow before her eyes. He appeared to communicate with Screw over her shoulder without words before stalking toward her with a gait that could only be described as a prowl. “He’s right,” Gumby said. “And this bullshit stops now.”
“Wha—”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall toward her room with Screw hot on her heels.