“I sure am. I need to live vicariously through your spicy young life.” She winked.
“Please, I’m sure Viper still gives it to you pretty damn good, Mama V.”
“That he does, my dear. That he does.” Another wink. This one followed by Cassie fanning her face.
Jazz laughed and a lightness entered her heart. “You old dog, you.”
With a girlish giggle, Cassie actually blushed. “Enough about me. It’s that young man who came to visit you, right?”
“That’s one of ’em.” Her comment elicited another round of giggles. Damn, it was nice to talk to someone about this. Keeping secrets may have been a prime contributor to all the stress. She had a close relationship with her girlfriends. The women of the MC were more of a sisterhood who typically told each other everything. Hiding her activities from them felt deceitful and left her without a cathartic outlet.
“Screw. He’s the other, right?” Cassie clapped her hands. “That boy has had his eye on you for quite some time.”
“Pretty sure it wasn’t his eyes that wanted me,” Jazz muttered before taking a long sip of coffee.
“Who’s the dog now?” Cassie asked as she raised a gray eyebrow.
They looked at each other for a quiet moment then blurted, “Screw!” at the same time before cracking up.
“Oh, God, thank you, Cassie,” Jazz said, wiping tears for an entirely different reason. “This is exactly what I needed.”
“I take it none of your girls know anything about this.”
“They do not.”
“So you’re in love with Screw and Gumby. Both of them.” Cassie wrapped her hands around the mug, probably trying to absorb the warmth into her thin digits.
Not a question.
Jazz sighed. “It didn’t start that way. I had…difficulty dealing with some things from my past. They were around to witness my meltdown. Both men said all the right things after I poured out this long, sordid story I’ve never shared with anyone. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew…” She sipped her coffee with a shrug.
“Jazz sandwich?”
As she laughed, coffee slipped down her windpipe. Jazz coughed while Cassie just sat there with her mischievous twinkling eyes. Finally, after a good thirty second coughing fit, she could speak again. “Seriously? You trying to kill me?”
“Sorry,” Cassie said, not looking an ounce repentant. “Couldn’t help myself.”
“Well, since you’re right, I’ll let it slide. Anyway, it’s continued, and we’ve all grown…close.”
With her mug held between her two hands, Cassie said, “I’m guessing you don’t mean only in a physical sense.”
Jazz propped an elbow on the table, letting her head fall onto her hand. “No. In every sense. Whatever it is we’re doing has become so much more than I think any of us anticipated or even wanted, to be honest. We’ve bonded, connected. We’ve made love,” she whispered. “I sound like I belong in a cheesy rom com, but it’s true. When we’re together, it’s…it’s deep.”
A smile broke out on Cassie’s face. “Not cheesy at all, sweetie. I completely understand.”
“What do I do, Mama V? Pretty sure a day hasn’t gone by where Screw didn’t let the entire world know what he thinks of relationships and Gumby not only lives in Arizona, he can’t even admit out loud he’s bisexual. I don’t think he could even entertain the idea of a relationship that involves a girl and another dude. Christ, how did I let this happen?” She lightly banged her head on the table.
Cassie caught her head on another downward trip. “First thing, a brain injury will not help you at all, so either grab Viper’s helmet or strop trying to break your skull.”
She straightened up. “What do I do?”
“You know what to do, honey. There’s only one answer here and you know what it is. You don’t like it, which is why you came here. So, I could be the one to say it for you. But I’m not going to do that.”
Jazz groaned. “Now you’re really acting like you’re my mom. Can we go back to the sex talk?”
There went another of those patient smiles. “Sure. After you say it.”
“Damnit.” She was right. Cassie was dead right. Jazz knew exactly what had to be done, but the thought alone had her insides twisted in knots. Her shoulders drooped. “I have to talk to them.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Cassie said before crossing her legs. “Jazzy, you need to be honest with them. Their reactions might surprise you.”
With a snort, she said, “Screaming and running from me as fast as they can? Nah, I’m pretty sure that won’t be a shocker.”
Cassie stayed silent, watching with sympathetic eyes.
“Ugh!” She threw her arms up. “I know you’re right.” Then she shook her head as her stomach rejected the idea. “I know you’re right,” she said softly. “I’m just afraid I’ll lose it all and have less than I do now. I’m afraid they’ll both walk away.”