They had been beyond amazing, staying by her side the entire time, holding her when she cried, letting her squeeze the hell out of their hands when the doctors stuck a needle directly in the gash on her head, and whispering words of love when she seemed close to shattering.
Then they’d taken her home and held her as she sobbed over Viper’s death. Eventually, she’d cried herself to sleep. Even then, her men held her tight all through the night. And when she’d woken soaked in sweat with a screaming nightmare? They kissed her, rubbed her back, whispered words of love, and soothed her back to unconsciousness.
She didn’t want to talk about herself or her injuries. They were nothing compared to Viper’s death and focusing on them only compounded the guilt.
“So, uh, what’s the plan for the diner? Have you talked to Toni?” She couldn’t continue to talk about Cassie right then.
Shell pursed her lips, hesitating as though she wasn’t going to allow Jazz to change the subject. But then she tucked a loose curl behind her ear, and said, “Well, the dining area is completely destroyed, but the kitchen was surprisingly spared. Very minimal damage. Rocket’s crew is going to get started on renovations early in the week, once their supplies come in. He’s estimating a few weeks of work. So, we’ll be closed down for about a month.”
They all fell quiet, each lost in their heads until Cassie emerged from the hallway hand in hand with Beth.
“Jazmine,” she said with a hitch in her voice.
Shooting to her feet, Jazz wanted nothing more than to run into the woman’s arms, but her feet remained rooted to the spot. She’d gotten Cassie’s husband killed. The only reason she was standing there was because Cassie’s husband was dead.
God, she shouldn’t have come.
“We’ll give you a few minutes alone,” Shell said as she stood and made her way to her daughter. “Come on, Beth. Let’s get started on those cookies we were going to make.”
“Okay,” Beth answered, all smiles.
“We haven’t told her anything yet,” Shell whispered as she passed Jazz.
All Jazz could do was nod as she stared into the red rimmed eyes of Cassie. Clearly the woman had spent much of the last day crying.
“I want to hug you, but I’m afraid to hurt you,” Cassie said as she approached Jazz slowly, as one might approach a wounded animal. She wore a simple pair of light blue pajamas and her long gray hair hung past her shoulders. “Sweetheart,” she said on an exhale, “God, I’m so glad you are alive and well enough to visit me today.”
“What?” Jazz said, the choked sound coming out as more of a sob than a word. “H-how can you stand the sight of me?”
Shit, she’d promised herself she wouldn’t lose it. Vowed she’d stay strong for Cassie’s sake, but one sentence and she was seconds from coming undone.
“Oh, sweetie.” Cassie gathered Jazz in a gentle hug, her thin arms holding tight but not squeezing.
The tender embrace broke the dam and Jazz’s emotions sprung from her eyes in a torrent of scalding hot tears. “I’m sorry,” she said as she wept against Cassie’s shoulder. “He shouldn’t have done it. Why did he do it, Cassie. Why?” Her body quaked with the force of her hysteria, making Cassie shake as well.
“Shhh,” Cassie said, rocking her back and forth. “Sit, honey, before you fall down.”
The woman’s husband had just died in a horrific manor and there Cassie was comforting Jazz. “I’m sorry. I’m being so selfish,” she said as she lowered to the couch.
“You’re being no such thing.” Cassie also had tears rolling down her face, but she gave Jazz a tight smile. “I’m going to tell you a few things and I want you to really listen and hear me. Okay?”
Jazz sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand as she nodded. She looked straight into Cassie’s somber eyes.
“He did it because that’s who he was, Jazmine. It’s just that simple. The man has always been a goddammed hero.” She let out a watery chuckle. “He was mine. And now he’s yours too. And he’ll always be remembered as a hero. He loved you. He loved his club. And he protected what he loved at all costs.” Her voice hitched, but she seemed to be holding it together better than Jazz was.
“He loved you most of all,” Jazz said as her heart ached.
“Oh, sweetheart, I know.” This time, Cassie’s smile held a bit of happiness. “There isn’t a doubt in my mind how he felt about me. I had many, many wonderful years with that man and not a single day went by where I wondered if his love for me had faded.”
Of course Cassie was grieving, devastated, but seeing that she hadn’t been destroyed helped bolster Jazz. Part of her had worried she’d walk in the house to find Cassie near comatose in bed. “You’re so strong,” she whispered.