Just as Holly was about to give up and call for help, she looked into his eyes. His pupils had returned to a normal size and for the first time since he’d lost control, his gaze shifted to her.
“Keep talking,” he said in a rasp that sounded like someone had taken a cheese grater to his vocal cords. “Keep touching me.”
Holly didn’t care how shitty he sounded; relief nearly had her sobbing. He was back or working his way back.
“Want to hear a funny story?” she asked as she ran her hands over his chest then up his arms. Since she hadn’t been expecting an answer, she just plowed ahead when he remained silent. “You know I grew up outside of Tampa, Florida. We didn’t travel much, or ever, when I was little, so my sister Joy and I really had no experience with cold weather. Neither of us saw snow until we were ten, I think.” Thoughts of her sister always brought a combination pang of sadness and burst of happiness. Why this story came to mind, she had no idea. Maybe it was Joy, lending help and approval of the man Holly felt the driving need to comfort.
Thank you, Joy.
Always looking out for her, even in death.
She swallowed around a lump in her throat and forced down the ache. This moment was about LJ and what he needed from her. “A-anyway, we had this big old freezer in our garage. You know the kind that serial killers stuff their victims into in the movies?”
He didn’t speak, but the tiny jerk of his chin was a victory she’d gladly claim.
“Joy was always so much more extroverted and daring than I was. I was the goodie two-shoes, and she was born to be the rebel. So, one day, I think we were about nine, if I remember correctly, she decided we should have a competition to see who could tough out cold weather the longest. It was close to Christmas and still shorts weather in Florida. I was always reluctant to follow along with Joy’s crazy plans but did it anyway.” Holly chuckled. Man, the trouble they’d gotten into. “She was my twin, you know? I’d have followed her anywhere and vice versa.”
She cleared her throat as memories both sad and so damn wonderful bombarded her. “Back to the story. We grabbed our sleeping bags and stuffed ourselves in the freezer. Thankfully at the last second, I thought to prop the lid open. My mom found us about fifteen minutes later, blue-lipped, teeth chattering, and shivering our little butts off, but both too damn stubborn to admit defeat. My parents made us clean the whole garage for that one.”
As she shook her head at herself, LJ chuckled, and Holly could no longer keep the tears at bay. She threw her arms around him and held on for dear life. His tree-trunk arms came around her and his heavy body sagged as though too fatigued to even remain upright. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck. Holly kept one hand around him and held the back of his head against her with the other. As she held him, she took steadying breaths and controlled her tears. Last thing he needed was to see her weeping and feel even worse than he obviously did.
“Welcome back,” she whispered into his damp neck. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry, Holly. Christ, I’m so fucking sorry.” His words were heavy with shame. “I’d hoped to never let you see me like that.” He pulled out of her arms and stared through the window, completely avoiding her gaze.
Her heart broke for the damaged man who worked so hard to keep everyone in his life from seeing his pain. “Come on,” she said as she rubbed his shoulder. What she really wanted to do was force him to look at her, but she had no idea how hard to push. “Let’s go home. We’ll talk about it there. I’m driving, and if you argue with me, I’ll never bake for you again.”
That had a heartier laugh coming from him, and he finally turned shame-filled eyes her way. That was something they had to work on. He never needed to hide anything from her. She wouldn’t pity him or think less of him for the internal battles he fought.
“Most women threaten to withhold sex. You threaten to take away my sugar fix.”
Holly snorted. “That’s because I’m not stupid. Withholding sex punishes me as well as you.” She winked, then climbed down from the mountain of a truck. LJ scooted along the bench seat, taking her spot. She made a fool of herself climbing back into the truck in the most ungraceful way possible, but LJ didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m fucked up, Holly. Too fucked up for this.” He shook his head then stared out the window once again. “Fucking loser,” he whispered to his reflection.