“No.” An invisible band wrapped itself around Makenna’s chest. “I couldn’t do it,” she choked out, as more memories assaulted her.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, rubbing his nose along her jaw. Whatever you had to do to survive, it’s okay.” Not an ounce of judgment. “None of it matters anymore.”
God, she could fall for this man so easily.
So foolishly.
“I knew a woman in town. She helped us escape. But before that, she would sneak me birth control pills each month. I was such an embarrassment to my family. My father and my husband. As the daughter of the founder, I was supposed to have the most children. The place became its own twisted religion of sorts. Lee and I had been stashing money and supplies for years. We’d planned to leave, but then my father got a woman pregnant. She hated it there as much as we did but was too afraid to leave. She begged us to stay until she gave birth, and the baby was old enough to travel. We planned to wait until Emmie was about six months old and could wean.”
She’d never forget the way Emmie’s mother pleaded with her to give Emmie a better life. The young woman had been so scared but so brainwashed she’d refused to leave when Makenna offered to take her along. She had no idea what had become of the sad, scared woman and shuddered to imagine the punishment she’d have endured for allowing her baby to be kidnapped. Mak had to lock certain things in a box in her mind to survive and that was one of them. Opening that box had her insides twisting in agony.
“Uh,” she said, clearing the thickness from her throat. “My, uh, when Emmie was two months old, my husband discovered my birth control pills. Lee gathered the kids and got everyone ready to leave. I’d been beaten so severely, I wasn’t sure I could meet the physical demands of running. And Emmie was so young. Too young. It was terrifying. But we made it out of town. For the first six months, we lived in a tiny trailer in a rural area of Montana. I worked as a seamstress until we had enough money to move again. And this has been our life for the past two years.”
She’d skipped over the long nights of stress and worry over how she’d feed the children. Those days were also over. She had a steady job, and though they didn’t live like royalty, they lived free.
Thunder kissed her over and over—light kisses to her nose, eyes, cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered between kisses. “You’re incredible, Mak. So strong, loyal, loving, and beautiful. You amaze me.”
“They might find us one day, Thunder.” She grabbed his face to keep him from kissing her again. He needed to understand the very real risk of being with her. “You have to hear me on that. If they show up, we run. No matter what. It’s happened before, and I won’t let those assholes drag my siblings back to the community. Their lives wouldn’t be worth living. And you have to know of the risk to you. They’d kill you in a heartbeat. Viciously. I’ve seen it happen.”
She didn’t have the energy left to delve into her mother’s disappearance or the death of her mother’s lover.
He scoffed. “Let them come. You don’t have to run. You have me now. And the club. We’d tear them apart.” He pulled her into his embrace. “They’ll never touch you or any of the kids.”
Though she nodded, she’d never put that burden on the club. Being with Thunder did not mean his family should inherit her problems. Her father didn’t run a group of Rambo wannabees playing with guns. They were a highly trained militia with the skills and hatred to destroy the Handlers.
“Thunder,” she whispered against his chest. He told her she was strong, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Strength would be walking away. Her weakness drove her now.
“Yeah, babe?”
“I can’t make you any promises either. And I’m pretty sure I’ll screw this up way worse than you ever could, but I want you too. For however long it can last, I want you. But you need to understand, really understand that I might have to disappear on a moment’s notice.”
“That won’t happen. Not with my club at our back.” His excitement at her declaration was evident in his shining eyes. And the erection nudging her stomach. “So we’re doin’ this? You and me. A…relationship?”
Mak chuckled. “It doesn’t bode well for us if you can’t even say it without making it sound like a bad word.”
He rolled them, trapping her under his powerful body. The planes and ridges of his abundant muscles molded to her as he settled against her. Had anything ever felt so good? Who knew feeling the weight of a strong man against her would be so remarkable? If all they did was lie like this, she’d be the happiest girl in Tennessee.