“Is that what this is?” JT asked. “A toxic spill?”
Again the doctor didn’t answer.
“Could it be a disease of some kind? Or an insect bite?”
“We … should wait until we get some test results. ”
Sengupta started to turn away, but Dez touched his arm. “Doc … what about the vitals? The paramedics couldn’t get any and I didn’t see your team get any. What’s that about?”
The doctor’s eyes were hooded and he repeated, “We need to see the test results. Now please, officer…”
Dez sighed and stepped aside. Sengupta went back inside the trauma room and the vinyl doors swung shut in Dez’s face. She tried to peer through the window, but it was virtually opaque. All she could see were figures milling around.
She stepped back and turned to JT.
“This is some shit, Hoss. ”
“I need to sit down,” he said, and he staggered over to a row of ugly plastic chairs and collapsed onto one. Now that the urgency of the moment was over, exhaustion hit them like body blows. JT bent forward with his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his palms. Dez stood and watched him, afraid for a moment that he was crying. He wasn’t. After a moment he rubbed his palms over his face, rubbed his eyes with his fists, and sat up.
“This is definitely some shit,” he said.
“I know,” she said, “and it’s not over. While we were en route Flower called to say that they were bringing in a bite victim. We’d better go find him and get a statement. ”
JT stared at her, his brown eyes filled with fear and confusion. “What’s going on?”
Dez looked down the hall toward the nurses’ station, and instead of checking on the bite victim she sat down next to JT. There was a clock on the wall across from them and the second hand chopped its way through a minute of silence. It seemed to take an hour.
“You want to talk about this?” she asked, her voice idle, the question loaded.
He shook his head. “Not now or ever. ”
They watched the second hand.
Then JT said, “It doesn’t make sense. ”
“No, it damn well doesn’t,” Dez agreed. It felt as if there was a war going on inside her body. She could feel the shakes wanting to kick in, trembling there at the edge of her self-control; and deeper inside was an anger that was unlike anything she’d felt since Afghanistan. When your friends roll over a land mine and a sudden blast scatters them and their vehicle over a hundred yards of the landscape, the same feeling begins to burn. There’s never a signature; you have no one specific to hate. It’s hard to hate an ideology or concept with any degree of satisfaction. Hate is a personal thing, a reaction to attack. Here … Dez didn’t know if this was a person somehow spreading a toxin, or a bug that escaped from a lab somewhere, or a microscopic bug kicked out by Mother Nature. She wanted a cause, a culprit. Someone to go after. Someone to hurt as a way of reducing her own hurt.
JT kept shaking his head. “Doc Hartnup was dead. I mean … you saw it, right? He was dead. He was way past dead. ”
“Yup. So was the Russian broad. ”
The silence that followed that remark was filled with all kinds of ugly thoughts. After a few moments, JT looked sideways at her. He licked his lips. “About that … I’m sorry, kid. ”
“Fuck it. ”
“No … you were right earlier. I doubted you in there. Not for long, but there it is, and that makes me an asshole and a bad partner. I’m really sorry. ”
They stared at each other for a few seconds. Dez smiled. “Make me a pot of your ass-burning chili and put a six of Sam Adams on ice and we’re square. ”
He grinned. “You asking me out on a date, girl?”
“Gak! Don’t be a disgusting old fuck. ”
“Good, ’cause I don’t date white girls. ”
Dez snorted. “What I was saying, old man, is that we eat some chili and drink some brew and forget today ever happened. ”
He nodded. They pretended to smile. Time passed with infinite slowness.