Sins

Soon they were on the bed, getting there via more kisses, and Oliver’s hand sliding between her legs, he approving that she was very wet.

It was surprising to discover how disappointed she felt when Oliver stopped playing with her nipples, and how intense the urgent aching and pulsing inside her grew when Oliver touched her there.

She tried experimenting a bit by touching him, stroking her hands over his shoulders and his upper arms, even kissing his throat, as well as grappling with the rigid phallus, of which he was so proud. That had been a slightly unnerving experience, especially when Oliver had thrown back his head and groaned. But now he was positioning himself between her legs. Once she was no longer a virgin then she could get down to the business of becoming an experienced and a good lover, Ella comforted herself.

‘God, I love these,’ Oliver announced, fondling Ella’s breasts and then kissing her firmly as he thrust into her, and then stopped when she tensed and he felt the unexpected barrier of her tight muscles. ‘What the hell…?’

Oliver had gone still and was looking at her with disbelief.

‘You’re a virgin.’

‘No. Yes. Don’t stop now,’ Ella almost wailed. ‘I have to do it. I must.’

She was panicking, beside herself with anxiety and dismay. He couldn’t not do it. Not after all this.

Oliver looked at her. She was trembling violently, like someone who had screwed up their courage to breaking point. His mind reacted bitterly to his choice of words. He eased himself away from her and got off the bed, standing up and going to stare out of the window with his back to her.

What the hell was going on? A bloody virgin. Whatever it was that was motivating her, it certainly wasn’t as, he had initially congratulated himself, her desire for him. He should have been furious, but surprisingly he discovered that he was actually intrigued and curious.

He turned round. Ella was still lying on the bed, but now she had pulled the sheet over herself.

‘OK,’ he said, ‘let’s start at the beginning. What are you doing here? And don’t bother saying because you’ve been lusting after me ever since we first met because I won’t believe you. What is this all about? Making the New York boyfriend jealous?’ he guessed.

Ella was so horrified that she sat up, saying fiercely, ‘No. He must never know about this.’

‘OK, so let’s see…You’re missing him and thought that having a quick fuck with me would tide you over until you see him? Oh, I forgot, you haven’t ever had a fuck, have you?’ Oliver’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Ella clamped her lips together. This wasn’t turning out as she’d expected at all.

‘I would have done if you hadn’t stopped,’ she told him.

Oliver paced the floor and then stopped in front of her.

‘Why choose me?’ His whole manner made it plain that he was not at all thrilled that she had.

‘Because I thought you’d be good at it.’

Oliver digested her words in silence.

‘Why now? If you’ve saved it for this long you must have had a reason.’

‘Yes.’ There was no point in denying it.

‘Like what?’

‘Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to get rid of it, all right?’

‘Nope. No explanation–no shag,’ Oliver responded promptly.

He was half expecting her to refuse to tell him, but he realised that he had underestimated her need to rid herself of her virginity when she exhaled and told him, ‘I need a cigarette.’

He produced two and lit them both, passing one to her. Only then did he see how much her hands were trembling. He drew deeply on his own cigarette before removing it from his lips to put to her own and then taking the one he was still holding for himself.

She obviously wasn’t a habitual smoker; her movements were awkward, the cigarette like the sex she had wanted: something that had to be endured as a means to an end rather than enjoyed for itself.

As soon as she felt strong enough, Ella stubbed out her cigarette and told Oliver, ‘Well, you see, it’s like this…’

It took him almost an hour and several cigarettes to get the whole story out of her: the nutty mother, her fear that if she fell pregnant and had a kid she’d end up the same, the unfairness of the pill not being available when she was younger, and then, last of all, her longing to impress and please Brad. Brad, for whom Oliver had suddenly developed a very strong surge of jealousy, for no reason that he could logically understand.