Forgotten Passion

‘Mummy and I were just talking,’ he lied reassuringly. ‘It just sounded as though Mummy was getting cross.’

The explanation seemed to satisfy Robbie, and Lisa, who sometimes found his inescapable thirst for knowledge wearying, suppressed a small spurt of resentment that he should accept Rorke and his explanation so readily.

Robbie, though, was apparently engrossed in other matters. ‘If you’re my daddy, why haven’t you been to see me before?’ he asked queryingly.

‘I haven’t been able to,’ Rorke told him easily, ‘but I’m here now, and…’

‘And you’re going to take us home with you,’ Robbie supplied, obviously having been well primed. ‘My daddy lives on a real island,’ he told Lisa importantly,’ and I’ll be able to learn to swim properly. Will I have to go to school?’

School! That was something Lisa hadn’t thought about, but she suspected they wouldn’t be there long enough for her to need to worry too much about the time Robbie might miss off school. However, to her surprise, Rorke responded immediately, ‘There’s a school on the island, Robbie—you’ll like it, I know, and then when you’re older you’ll go to school here in England like I did.’

He saw Lisa glaring at him, and put Robbie back on the floor. The little boy quickly became engrossed in his toys, leaving Lisa free to whisper bitterly, ‘Did you have to tell him that? He has an excellent memory, Rorke, and you said you didn’t want to punish him for my sins. How do you think he’s going to feel when he realises you’ve lied to him? That you’re just using us?’

‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,’ Rorke told her, adding cynically, ‘What upsets you the most, Lisa? The fact that I might be hurting Robbie, or the fact that he could so easily have been my child if only Helen hadn’t told me the truth.’

‘The truth?’ Lisa laughed bitterly. ‘What do you know about the truth, Rorke? Nothing! Nothing at all!’

If she had any sense, she would refuse here and now to go back to St Martins with him, but the thought of Leigh tugged at her heartstrings. Leigh and Robbie, who would surely find much pleasure in one another. Could she, merely for selfish reasons of her own, deny them that relationship? In her heart of hearts she already knew the answer.

It was a hectic rush to be ready on time, and in the end, much to her surprise, Rorke suggested that he looked after Robbie while she did her shopping.

It wasn’t easy finding lightweight clothes for a small boy in mid-November, but at last it was all done, and after all, they wouldn’t be on St Martin’s for very long, Lisa assured herself as she hurried homewards.

It was growing dark as she walked along the road, and as she opened her gate she absently noted the familiar squeak. She would have to go next door and ask her neighbour to keep an eye on the house while she was away.

She pushed open the living room door, unprepared for the scene that met her eyes. Rorke was relaxing in one of the armchairs, Robbie asleep on his lap, and something about the totally relaxed and trusting face of her son made Lisa’s heart ache for all that she had lost. Quickly she dismissed the thought. It was not her fault if Rorke had refused to believe her; if he chose to believe Helen instead.

Something about the sleeping man drew her. She bent forward almost instinctively, her heart thudding as Rorke’s eyes opened. Just for a second they looked at one another, and then Rorke said dangerously softly, ‘Wondering how you’re going to manage without Greg? He is your latest lover, I presume.’ He said it so sardonically that Lisa felt anger flare hotly inside her, provoking her to retort bitterly,

‘Why the hell should I tell you? At least he’s honest and decent, which is more than I can say for Helen! I assume she is still the woman in your life??

?? she added recklessly.

‘And if she is? You wouldn’t by any chance be jealous, would you, Lisa?’

‘Of what? Helen enjoying your prowess as a lover? As according to you I’ve never known that pleasure, I’ve nothing to be jealous of, have I?’

She had caught him off guard, Lisa thought with satisfaction, but in another moment he had himself under control, his expression mocking as he drawled softly, ‘Hasn’t anyone ever told you what a powerful aphrodisiac the imagination can be, Lisa?’

His mockery infuriated her and she flung at him bitterly, ‘If you think I’ve ever imagined you making love to me…’

‘Haven’t you?’ he interrupted softly, watching her flushed cheeks and glittering eyes. ‘Haven’t you, Lisa?’

Her expression gave her away, she knew. She licked her lips nervously, suddenly unbearably reminded of all those occasions when she had lain sleepless, reliving the touch of Rorke’s hands on her body, the hungry possession of his mouth. Perspiration broke out on her skin, her eyes drawn to the hard line of his mouth. Her body started to tremble, and a curious weakness robbed her of the ability to think logically. Rorke was watching her narrowly, his eyes on the parted warmth of her mouth. She swayed towards him, then suddenly Robbie stirred in her arms, breaking the spell which had held her in thrall. Rorke stepped back, his eyes cruelly cynical.

‘Careful, Lisa,’ he warned her bitingly. ‘You’re a woman now, with all a woman’s desires, but I’m not going to appease them for you.’

She was still trying to think of a fitting retort when he opened the door and walked out.

* * *

‘Mummy, I’m tired! When will we be there?’

‘Not long now, Robbie,’ Rorke soothed him, lifting his head from the papers he had been studying ever since they boarded the aircraft. It was a long flight for so young a child, and now Robbie was starting to grow restless.

‘We’ll spend tonight on St Lucia,’ Rorke announced. ‘Lady is berthed at Castries, and we’ll sail from there in the morning.’

‘Lady?’ Lisa mumbled. ‘You’ve still got her?’