Force of Feeling

So…she could work just as easily outside London. She could find herself a small house somewhere.

The specialist had given her several information sheets to read. She made herself a cup of coffee—decaffeinated now, for the baby’s sake—and sat down to read them.

The ring on the doorbell surprised her. She wasn’t expecting any visitors. She went to answer it, surprised to see Lucy outside.

Her friend, now well into her pregnancy, really was blooming. Campion felt drained and lifeless in comparison.

‘I came up to London to do some shopping. I haven’t heard from you for ages, and so I decided—’ She broke off and stared at the leaflets. ‘Campion, what on earth’s all this stuff? My God! You’re pregnant, aren’t you?’

Common sense warned her to deny it, but her mind didn’t seem to work very quickly these days.

Lucy sat down and stared at her. ‘It’s Guy’s, isn’t it? You’re having his child. Oh, Campion, why didn’t you tell me?’

Ridiculously, Campion was crying. She seemed to cry a lot these days—hormones, she supposed.

‘Does he know? Have you told him? Will you tell him?’

‘No, no and no again,’ she sniffed. ‘It was an accident, more my fault than Guy’s.’ She blushed when she saw the way Lucy was looking at her. ‘I want this baby, Lucy,’ she added quietly, not really knowing what impelled her to say the words out loud.

Lucy wasn’t listening to her. She had picked up one of the information sheets, and she was reading it with a frown.

‘Something’s wrong, isn’t it?’ she demanded. ‘You’re not well…’

Campion measured her chances of deceiving her, and decided that they were too slim.

‘A vitamin deficiency. The specialist says I should be all right, but I’ve got to give up work for six weeks, and then… What on earth are you doing?’ she demanded, as Lucy got up and went into her bedroom. She followed her and watched as she opened cupboards and drawers.

‘Lucy!’ she protested.

‘You’re coming home with me right now. No, don’t argue! I’m not leaving you here on your own.’ She turned to her, her expression unusually fierce.

‘I’ve lost one child, Campion. I wouldn’t want anyone to have that experience, least of all you. Come home with me. We’ll be company for one another.’

‘I…I can’t! What will Howard say?’

‘He’ll be delighted. He’s got to spend some time in the States. He’ll feel much happier about leaving me if he knows I’ve got you for company, and we can talk babies all day long if we feel like it. Mrs T will be in her element with two of us to boss around!’

She oughtn’t to give in so weakly, but the temptation was too much to resist.

* * *

‘Why won’t you tell Guy?’ Lucy asked her when they were both sitting in the Rolls. Paul had expressed no surprise at being informed that Campion was going home with them.

‘He wouldn’t want to know.’

‘Oh, God, that insecurity complex of yours! He wanted you, Campion. He made love to you.’

‘No, he didn’t want me,’ Campion told her quietly, slowly repeating what she had overheard.

‘I don’t believe it,’ Lucy said flatly. ‘Guy would never do anything like that.’

‘But he did,’ Campion told her gently. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. It’s over, finished…’ She leaned back against the leather upholstery and closed her eyes.

Seeing her exhaustion and frail hold on her self-control, Lucy fell silent. Now wasn’t the time, and Campion hadn’t the strength. Perhaps later…

* * *

Campion told Helena that she was taking a sabbatical, and that she would be in touch with her later in the year. She also told her that she had decided against entering into another contract with Adam Hart.