Ruined (Ethan Frost 1)

His gaze drops to the blue box I’m still clutching in my hand. “Don’t you like it?”

“I haven’t opened it. ”

For the first time, he looks confused. “Why not?”

“Because I know I’ll probably love it and I don’t want the temptation. ”

“I don’t even know where to start with that. ”

I sigh, run a frustrated hand through my hair in a gesture I’m pretty sure I picked up from him. “I don’t need you to spend this kind of money on me. That’s not what I’m here for. ”

His face clears. “Like the blender. The strawberries were okay, but in your opinion, the blender was too much. ”

“Exactly. ”

He reaches up, plays with one of the delicate flamingo earrings dangling from my ears. “But you finally accepted the blender. ”

That’s what he thinks. I’d love to see his face when I hand-deliver it to his office again tomorrow morning. “Money doesn’t impress me, Ethan. ”

“It doesn’t impress me, either. But there are things I want you to have. Things I think you need to have. Is it so wrong that I want to be the one to give them to you?”

“I need a blender?”

He grins. “For a woman who loves margaritas as much as you do? Absolutely. Besides, now it’s the general principle of the thing. ”

It really is, which is why I’m going to hand that damn blender to his assistant first thing in the morning. “And this?” I shake the box a little. “I need this?”

“Why don’t you open it and find out?”

He’s watching me, his face carefully blank. But I can see it in his eyes, just a hint of vulnerability that he’s working hard to hide. It melts my resolve, this proof that his feelings for me are as powerful, as overwhelming, as confusing as mine are for him. Knowing that, knowing how much he needs to give me this present—whatever it is—means there’s no way I can turn it down.

Not sure what to expect, I open the box slowly, gingerly. Then gasp when I see what he’s bought me.

“It’s beautiful,” I tell him, reaching out to touch one of the delicate platinum links.

“Do you like it?”

“What’s not to like?” I remove the belly chain from the box, hold it up to the light to admire the intricate designs on each of the links. As if the actual links aren’t beautiful and elaborate enough, one end of the chain sports a cascade of clear stones. I try to convince myself that they’re crystals, but I know better. Ethan has bought me diamonds, albeit not in the traditional piece of jewelry.

But this is better, so much better than anything else he could have gotten me. Because I know Ethan and he knows me and I understand what he’s saying with this chain without him ever having to say a word.

Last night he promised me that he wasn’t going anywhere. That no matter what I told him, no matter what had happened to me, he would stay. This chain is a physical manifestation of that promise. It’s just between him and me; no one else will ever see it. But it means, despite everything, that I’m his.

It’s not a collar, not a sign of ownership, but a reassurance nonetheless. One I didn’t even know I needed until he gave it to me.

“Do you want me to help you put it on?” His fingers brush against mine as he reaches for the chain.

“Yes. Please. ”

He smiles at my acceptance, and the wariness in his eyes slowly dissipates until there’s nothing left but affection and joy and…love? I cut the thought off, refusing to go there yet. He hasn’t said the words and neither have I. And we’re not going to, not for a while. Hell, we’ve only known each other a week.

And yet, as he lifts my shirt and wraps the chain—and his arms—around me, I can’t deny the feelings welling up deep inside me. I wouldn’t want to, even if I could. I’m not sure how it happened, not sure what I did to deserve him, but Ethan Frost is mine as surely as I am his. And I’m not giving him up.

“What do you think?” he asks after he fastens the clasp. His hands are still around my waist, his fingers toying with the navel ring I got my freshman year in college in my first of many attempts to reclaim my body as my own. Tori talked me into it, and though I thought it was crazy at the time, it actually worked. The pain, and the act itself, grounded me, and now the ring is a reminder that I decide what to do with my body. No one else.

I look down at the chain. Ethan left it loose, so it rests on my hips, right below my belly button. The cascade of diamonds drips down my abdomen, rests directly above my mons. No, this isn’t a collar. But it is the most possessive piece of jewelry he could buy me outside of a wedding ring. “It’s perfect for me,” I tell him as I wrap my arms around his neck, lift my mouth for a kiss. “Just like you. ”

Chapter Twenty-one