“That’s not true. I would have stopped you before you went to the interview.”
“Oh my God!” I push off his lap and start to pace in the early-morning grayness. “Are you even listening to yourself? You would have stopped me. You would have told me only because you couldn’t not tell me. From the moment this shitstorm happened, you’ve made every major decision for me without so much as consulting me. That’s not respect and that sure as hell isn’t a relationship. Believe me, I know. I watched my father do it to my mother for years.”
“Goddamnit!” he roars, leaping to his feet and planting himself directly in my path. “I wasn’t trying to make decisions for you. I was trying to help you!”
“By cutting me completely out of the process?”
“By keeping you from being hurt!”
“Well, news flash, asshole. It didn’t work. You hurt me way worse than Alexander Parsons ever could.”
“I know.” Just like that, the fight goes out of him. “Believe me, I know. And I’m sorry for it. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. I love you, Tori, and all I want is to keep you safe. To make you happy. And I totally fucked that up. I’m the fuckup here, not you.”
For long seconds, it’s as if the words don’t compute. As if they’re hanging there in the room between us, unable to be absorbed by my brain. When I can finally think again—hell, when I can finally breathe again—I demand, “What did you just say?”
“I said I fucked up with you, just like I fucked up with Chloe. With her, I failed to keep her safe, and then I failed again when I got so caught up in my research that I didn’t even know what my parents had done to her. And with you…with you, I did the total opposite. I was so busy trying to keep you from getting hurt that I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you.”
“That’s not the part I was asking about, although thank you for saying all that. I was talking about the other part. When you said…” My voice breaks as hope swells inside of me.
For the first time, he loses his fierceness. “When I said that I love you? Because I do. I love you so much. I’m not sure how or when it happened, considering you’ve treated me like a plague victim ever since you met me. But somewhere in all this, I fell head over heels in love with you. And I’m so sorry you think I don’t respect you, because nothing could be further from the truth. You’re funny and you’re smart and you’re gutsy—”
“Gutsy? I’ve spent the last few days hiding out in a house that doesn’t belong to me, trying to pretend my life hasn’t fallen down around my ears. I don’t think there’s anything particularly gutsy about that.”
“Well, you’re wrong. Because I think it’s very brave of you to try to stand on your own even with all the bullshit being thrown your way. How you were so determined to solve your problems on your own—”
“But I didn’t solve them on my own. You and Ethan and Chloe solved them.”
“We gave you a helping hand, because we care about you. But I have no doubt that if you hadn’t had us, you would have done just fine. You’re a smart woman, Tori, and I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. But just because you can do it alone doesn’t mean you should have to.”
“I’m not Chloe—”
“Well, thank
God for that,” he says, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest. I’m not sure I’m ready to go there yet, but I don’t want to fight him, either. So I let him pull me close, let him wrap his arms around me. And then I just breathe him, relishing his warmth and his strength and the dark orange-and-bergamot smell of him. “Considering some of the things I want to do to you are illegal in at least half a dozen states, probably more.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. “Only half a dozen?”
He shrugs. “Laws are finally getting more liberal.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not what I meant and you know it. Saving me won’t help you atone for what happened with Chloe.”
“Believe me, I know that. And if I didn’t, you’d remind me often enough. For someone who can’t stand it when other people help her out, you’re sure as hell protective of my baby sister.”
“She’s my best friend.”
“And you’re the woman I love. I admit I was an idiot. I admit I should have talked to you more. I promise, in the future, that I’ll communicate so much you’ll beg me to shut up just so you can have a little peace. But please, Tori. Don’t shut me out because I was an asshole. Don’t walk away from me, not now that I’m finally figuring out what I did wrong.”
“As if it didn’t break my heart to walk away from you the first time. I don’t think I could do it again, even if I wanted to. I love you, Miles Girard.”
For the first time since I woke up to find him at the end of my bed, a smile breaks across his face. “Yeah?” he asks, pulling me even closer so he can press kisses up and down my neck. “You love me?”
“What’s not to love? I mean, besides your domineering streak? And the fact that you always think you’re right? And how you tend toward regular asshattery? Oh, and—”
He shuts me up with a kiss. It’s hard and hot and everything I want right now.
For long seconds, his lips move over mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth to tangle with my own. But I have more to say and no matter how much I’d like to spend the rest of the night kissing him, I need to say it now, before I lose my nerve.
So I reluctantly pull my mouth from his, then step back until he’s no longer holding me. I can’t think when he’s pressed against me like that.