She smiled at Colin. “He wanted me,” she answered. “He didn’t want a wife. There’s a difference, Lord Grantham.”
“Very good, Lady Abernathy.” Jarrod applauded.
“I may have been innocent when I married him, but I recognized that look in his eyes the first time I saw him. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I knew it sent tingles up and down my spine, and that was more than any other man had ever managed to do.”
“Including Sussex?” Colin drawled.
“Especially Sussex!” Alyssa snapped. “I wish everyone would stop pushing him at my head. He was never my choice, only my mother’s. I didn’t want him before I married Griffin, and I’m not interested in becoming his mistress now.”
“What about his duchess?” Jarrod asked.
“I could have been his duchess if that’s what I wanted. Ask Griffin. He knows.” She threw her hands up in a gesture of pure frustration. “I only allowed His Grace to call at Abernathy Manor because Lady Miranda St. Germaine wants him.”
Jarrod shook his head. “Not likely. Those two despise one another. Have for ages.”
“Think again,” Alyssa said. “Miranda didn’t act as chaperone for me. I served as a chaperone for her.” She looked at each of the Free Fellows. “At least, it was supposed to appear that way.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Unfortunately, I’m not much of a chaperone.”
Jarrod took her measure. “You’re in love with Griff?”
She nodded.
“Does he know?”
“No,” she answered.
“What if he doesn’t love you in return?” he asked.
“He isn’t required to love me in return.” Alyssa met their gazes steadily. “I married him knowing that he did not. That doesn’t alter the fact that I love him.”
“What are you going to do?” Colin wanted to know.
“I’m going to love him,” she replied. “That’s all.”
“You aren’t going to try to change him? You aren’t going to try to make him settle down here at Abernathy Manor with you once he returns from the Peninsula?” Jarrod asked.
“I pray every day that Griffin will return from the Peninsula safe and sound,” she said. “And in exchange for his safety, I promised God I wouldn’t try to make Griffin do or be anything he doesn’t want to do or become. I’m in love with a Free Fellow, and I won’t make any claims upon him beyond those in the marriage settlement. He has fulfilled his obligation to me. He’s free to be whatever he wants to be. And wherever he wants to be.”
“Even if it’s not with you?” Colin
asked.
“Even so.” She bit her bottom lip to stop its quivering as she nodded.
“About the Free Fellows—” Jarrod began.
“No need to worry,” Alyssa assured him. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Is it?” Colin challenged.
“As safe as it is with you,” she retorted.
“Fair enough,” Colin answered.
They reached an understanding that night—Alyssa, Jarrod, and Colin. And what they all understood was that each of them, in his or her own way, had Griffin’s best interests at heart.
Alyssa respected and admired his friends for that. And they learned to respect and admire her. She loved their friend, but she promised to make no demands upon him.
Griff was as free as he’d ever been. Unless he chose otherwise. And Jarrod and Colin knew that he would never break his word. And neither would they. The Marquess of Shepherdston and Viscount Grantham continued to call upon Griff’s bride as often as they could and at least once a month as they had promised, secure in the knowledge that the secret of the Free Fellows League was safe.