Southern Hotshot (North Carolina Highlands 2)

Admitting my feelings would just reopen a closed case.

But because I’m an asshole, and because this whole conversation is rubbing me the wrong way, I still can’t help asking Hank the same question.

“Do you? Have feelings for her?”

A beat passes between us. His eyes are locked on mine, but they’re a little vacant. Like he’s somewhere else.

“No,” he says.

Abandoning the scallions, he leaves my house.

Chat #4

MyBoyBlue4: Friday night it is! That still work for you?

LadyV76: Sure does. I’m trying to keep my expectations in check here, but…yeah, I am really looking forward to meeting up. Although I admit I’m terrified of disappointing you.

MyBoyBlue4: I’m scared of the same. Taking this offline is definitely a leap of faith. But I’m trying to be more honest and brave and shit. And I honestly really, really want to meet you.

LadyV76: The fact that you’re saying that makes me even more excited to meet *you.* Things with work are actually smoothing out. Well, they are, and they aren’t.

MyBoyBlue4: Care to explain?

LadyV76: Maybe when I see you. It’s quite the story. And it has nothing to do with us, except that I think I’m finally able to, you know, do something nice for myself. Like go on a date with a dude I like.

MyBoyBlue4: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you like me?

LadyV76: I like your dick. I hope I’ll like you.

MyBoyBlue4: Fair.

LadyV76: Let’s agree to some ground rules. We’ve already agreed to meet in a public place. No phone numbers are exchanged until after we meet. I may have a friend tag along, at least for the beginning.

MyBoyBlue4: Right. Just to make sure I’m not that serial killer. How will I know it’s you?

LadyV76: I’ll be wearing my heels. The ones you’ve seen. What about you?

MyBoyBlue4: I’ll be wearing…hm. Let me think about this.

LadyV76: Really?

MyBoyBlue4: Hey now Miss I Love to Subvert Gender Norms. I like clothes. So what? I make ’em look good.

LadyV76: Funny, but my coworker, the one I’m always complaining about, likes clothes too.

MyBoyBlue4: Ha. If I were your coworker, you wouldn’t be complaining.

LadyV76: I’d probably be fired, considering how much sex we’d be having.

MyBoyBlue4: Oh, yeah. All over the place. Shit, I just got hard. But let’s figure out the details of our date before we get down. I need this. Both the date and the orgasm.

LadyV76: Something on your mind, Blue?

MyBoyBlue4: Yeah. I can’t figure out what to wear. What’s your favorite color?

LadyV76: I have two: black and blue.

MyBoyBlue4: You were born to dominate, weren’t you?

LadyV76: Indeed.

MyBoyBlue4: Okay. I’ll wear blue then. But it won’t be like a bullshit French blue collared shirt or anything. I hope you weren’t expecting a banker.

LadyV76: Nope. So basically, you’ll be hard to miss in your unique shade of blue.

MyBoyBlue4: And you’ll definitely stand out in those fucking heels. Can we throw in something cheesy and expected?

LadyV76: Like?

MyBoyBlue4: Hm. What if you bring…an apple?

LadyV76: Oh ha, the naughty teacher thing from our first chat. Good memory. Okay, I’ll be holding an apple. What about you?

MyBoyBlue4: I’ll have a Van Halen CD on the table.

LadyV76: You still have a CD?

MyBoyBlue4: It was my dad’s. VH was his favorite band, so I kept all their cassette tapes and CDs he collected over the years.

LadyV76: Van Halen was one of my dad’s favorite bands too! He’s very square, very uptight, the kind of guy who wears khakis and cuff links on the weekend. But he had this secret love for eighties hair bands. Well, it wasn’t secret per se, but he definitely didn’t advertise it. You go for a ride in his Lexus, though? You bet he had Panama blasting.

MyBoyBlue4: I like your dad.

LadyV76: He and I are pretty much opposites. But sometimes I think I got my weird, artsy feely wild streak from him. I guess he could just hide his better.

MyBoyBlue4: Maybe his didn’t sing as loud as yours.

LadyV76: Cool thought. Yeah, maybe.

[A pause]

MyBoyBlue4: I’m more nervous than I want to admit.

LadyV76: But you’re admitting it, which is hot. I’m nervous too. While we’re being honest…this is the first date I’ve gone on in over a year. In real life, I mean. Not on the internet. I’m worried I forget how.

MyBoyBlue4: How to what?

LadyV76: Date. Have fun. Do something other than work.

MyBoyBlue4: I get it. My hobby is my work. Which is awesome most of the time, but it really blurs the line between my professional and personal lives. As in, I don’t really have a personal life anymore. Insert wincing emoji here.

LadyV76: The more we talk, the more I feel like we’re the same person. Well, except for the whole alpha/beta thing. Although you made a pretty good alpha the other night. But I digress. My point is, my hobby is my work too, and the lines have definitely been blurring lately. Which is one of the (many) reasons I’m so excited to meet you. I think you might be just what I need to get over this weird hump.