“It’s fine,” I insisted through chattering teeth.
“No, it’s not. You’re shaking, probably going into shock.” She grabbed the blanket from the couch and tucked it around my shoulders. “We need to get you to the emergency room.”
“No hospital. I can’t. I don’t want to.” I looked up at her, my very life depending on her answer. “If he took precautions, if he somehow survived the fire and found a bridge, could he get back through without you and your exotic matter?”
Her face was full of pity. “Emerson—”
“Could he get back through?”
“It’s a possibility.” The look of pity didn’t fade, and somewhere, deep down, I knew she was telling me what I wanted to hear.
I turned to stare at the grandfather clock in the corner. Half past midnight.
“I’m going to wait for him.”
“At least sit down before you collapse.” Cat helped me onto the couch, placing pillows behind my back. “Let me look at your cuts—”
“Don’t touch me. Okay?” I forced myself to keep my voice steady, at a normal volume. “I’m fine.”
“But—”
“Please!” I could feel myself edging toward hysteria with every second that passed. I needed her out. “I’m fine. Please leave me alone.”
“I can’t, you’re hurt—”
“Cat?” I didn’t want to break, and if she didn’t leave me alone, didn’t stop talking about Michael … I knew I might.
She left me.
I hoped and prayed that there was some possibility he’d survived. That by some miracle he could come back to me.
I sat in the dark, waiting. The grandfather clock in the entryway sounded the hour.
One.
I barely noticed when Nate and Dune headed up to bed. Dune started to say something, but stopped when he saw my face.
An hour passed; the clock sounded twice.
Cat came in to check on me but didn’t speak. I ignored her, turning my body to face the clock, still as stone, watching the hands move. The house slowly went quiet, the only sounds the occasional creaks and pops common in older homes. I thought I heard Kaleb and Liam walk past, but I was too fixated on the time to pay close attention.
Dawn came. The sunrise brought no hope.
When the chimes sounded seven times, I stood, pushed the blanket to the floor, and walked up the stairs to Michael’s bed. Alone.
He wasn’t coming back.
Chapter 48
I knew who it was the second the door opened. He would be the only one who would come looking for me here, the only one who wouldn’t be afraid to come in without knocking. He wouldn’t ask for permission to enter because he knew I’d say no.
Kaleb wouldn’t take no from me.
He crossed the room to the bed where I lay curled up in a ball, holding on to Michael’s pillow and breathing in his scent. Kaleb reached out to touch me, but caught himself when he saw me flinch. I couldn’t help it. The last time someone had touched me in this room, it had been Michael.
He dropped down into the desk chair.
“You should be with your father.” My voice sounded raw, still full of smoke and tears.