Finally, she found Nic exiting his room in the servants’ wing. There were dark circles under his eyes and his red hair was a mess.
“Remind me of something in the future, Cleo,” he said. “Stick with Paelsian wine. Any other drink imbibed to excess leads to nothing but great pain and regret the next morning.”
If it were any other day, she might find this humorous. “The pain you’re feeling right now should be reminder enough,” she said, then glanced up and down the hallway. “I need to talk to you about a private matter.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Now?”
She nodded, her throat tight.
“Fine.” He gestured toward his room. “Come in and experience the fine luxury I’ve been given by his majesty.”
She chewed her lip. “No, let’s go outside. I need some fresh air and . . . it will do you good.”
“Excellent idea. And if I freeze to death, I’ll be no further burden to you.”
“Stop it, Nic. You’re not a burden. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” She grabbed him and hugged him hard.
He stiffened with surprise, but then returned her hug. “Are you all right?”
“That’s a very good question. I’m not so sure anymore.”
He nodded. “Then let’s have that talk.”
Nic grabbed his warm cloak, and Cleo led him out of the palace and into the ice gardens.
“Have you seen the labyrinth?” she asked, drawing the hood of her cloak up over her head to help block out the chill.
“Only from a distance.”
She eyed the red-suited guards dotting the white landscape. “I’ve walked it several times and know the way through. It’ll give us some privacy.”
As they entered the maze, Cleo hooked her arm through Nic’s for additional warmth.
“All right,” he said. “What’s so urgently private that we need to walk through a maze of ice on the coldest day I’ve ever lived?”
“Well, first I want to apologize. I feel that I’ve been neglecting you when you . . .” She took hold of his cold hand in her gloved one. “When you’ve been deeply in need of a friend.”
His steps faltered and his expression grew serious. “What do you mean? I know you’re my friend. I mean, you’re more than that. You’re my family now. The only family I have.”
“Yes, of course. But I know you’ve been so troubled since the temple . . . since Prince Ashur died . . .”
His face went pale. “Is that what this talk is all about? Don’t ask me about him, Cleo. Please.”
“I know you’re in pain, Nic. I want to help you.”
“I’m working it out for myself.”
“By getting drunk every night?”
“Perhaps it’s not the best strategy to clear a confused mind, but it’s one of the few I have available to me.”
“I can tell you’re confused. Talk to me about this, Nic—about him. I’m here for you. I mean it.”
His nose had already gone red from the cold, and his freckles stood out sharply on his pale face. “All I know is I’ve never felt that way, ever, for . . .” His jaw tightened. “I don’t know, Cleo. I can’t explain it, not even to myself. I’ve liked girls all my life, and I know I haven’t only been fooling myself. Girls are pretty and soft and . . . amazing. What I felt for you, especially for you . . . that wasn’t fake or a lie I told myself. It was real. But with the prince . . . I don’t know what to think. It’s not as if I’ve undergone some massive change and now want to kiss every boy that crosses my path.”
o;We’ll send word to him so he’ll know where to find us.”
“My kingdom . . . Theon, I need to take it back.”