“I don’t want it. But my sister does. And classic fucked up Order style prevents her from inheriting it at all. I’m doing this for her. Only for her.”
“Miss Collins?” I looked up and then jumped to my feet when I saw the nice nurse from last night.
“Yes?”
“I’m just getting off shift. But Dr. Reynard asked me to let you in a little early to see your sister since you’ve been waiting all night. She’s awake now.”
“Thank you!”
I grabbed Sully’s hand and all but dragged him through the door she was holding open. The rest of the waiting room was empty.
I was still reeling from all he’d told me.
He’d stayed and endured all those horrific Trials for love of a sister too. Family meant something to him. A huge part of his life had been defined by his father’s betrayal and abandonment—it was still abandonment even if it had been in a different form than my father’s. Even more insidious maybe, because he was still there all the time but making the active choice every day for work and the Order over his family waiting for him at home. Hurting Sully as deeply as my father had hurt me.
It was only a little further to Reba’s room. I did leave Sully outside since I didn’t want to have to explain him to Reba when the focus needed to be on her, but just knowing he was nearby was a huge comfort. Not that I wanted to explore that thought too much. But he’d seriously shown up for me last night, and after everything we’d been through together…
I rounded the corner and my mouth dropped open when I saw Reba.
“Beba,” I cried, using LeAnn’s pet name for her. I rushed to the bed and sat on the edge beside her tiny, wan little body.
What the hell had happened since I left just three months ago?
She was skin and fucking bones.
I grabbed her hand and it was ice cold to the touch. I immediately started chafing it back and forth to warm it up.
“Hey, babe,” I said, trying to infuse my voice with as much warmth as possible. She didn’t need to know how crazy freaked out I was seeing her like this.
Her eyes were sunken, her lips dry, her skin… She looked like she was…
She looked like she was dying.
I gripped her hand like I could send some of my own life force into her limp body.
She opened her mouth like she was trying to say hi or say my name but no words came out.
I shook my head. “No, babe. It’s fine. Don’t even try to talk. I heard you had a little mishap and your legs gave out on you. Not cool, legs.”
I shook my finger at her legs, then smiled back at her. “But big sis is here now. I’ll fix everything, like always.”
But she just looked at me with this wisdom like, like— Like she didn’t believe me.
Like I didn’t know what I was talking about.
Like I was the child and she was the grown-up who understood grown-up realities like death and dying while I was still a little baby kick-boxing at shadows I had no hope of winning against or even comprehending.
I just shook my head. “No, Rebs. No.”
She smiled the tiniest little smile.
And then her eyes went wide with shock and what looked like excruciating pain. A thin, reedy wail of pain came out of her throat and all the machines hooked up to her started going haywire.
“Reba. Reba!” I shouted.
But she couldn’t answer. Her eyes had rolled back in her head.
I ran for the door, screaming, “Nurse! Doctor! Doctor!”
23
Sully
The hospital walls seemed to be closing in on us, the shadows of the dead haunting the hallways reminding us that not everyone leaves this building alive.
Portia’s sister was dying and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help. Portia had been so dazed and upset when the doctor had talked to us about what was wrong with her sister—recurrent UTIs because of her being in the last stages of renal disease leading to a rare complication, something something. Long story short—if she didn’t get that new kidney, she was gonna die.
For the first time in my life, I wished I was my father.
My father had power. Wealth. Massive strings he could pull.
He’d be able to save Portia’s sister.
He’d be able to make it right.
But because I had been so damn stubborn and had resisted every leg up that had been offered to me, I didn’t even know where to start in trying to get that poor girl a kidney. I couldn’t just make a few phone calls and get it done.
I was helpless.
God, I wish I was like my father.
My eyes were closed, but I wasn’t asleep. I had been up all night as Portia slept on my shoulder between her constant getting up and asking for updates on her sister. Exhaustion had set in, but I worried that if I fell asleep, I wouldn’t be there if she needed me. I wasn’t going to leave her for even a second.