Gods & Monsters

I learn all the signs, the roads, the avenues. Turns out, no one really gets lost in New York. There’s a neat little system called the grid. Logically numbered avenues and streets. So basically, navigating New York City has to be the easiest thing ever, even for someone as geographically challenged as me. Who knew?

We ride the ferry and see The Statue of Liberty from up close. Abel holds my hand the entire time because he thinks I’m going to fall off the railing even though I’m being careful.

“Well, wouldn’t you jump after me and save me?” I grin up at him, wind in my face and Abel in my eyes.

“No.” He shakes his head, his fingers flexing against mine.

“What? You have to save me. A fiancé is supposed to take care of his would-be bride.” I lift my chin to appear miffed.

“No, a fiancé is supposed to not let his would-be bride fall in the first place.”

I kiss him, then. Because how can I not?

The more I see this city, the more I realize that Abel couldn’t have been born anywhere else. He couldn’t have come from any other place. He was destined to be born here, in a place that’s larger than any dream or imagination. He’s so much more than a golden-haired boy who grew into a man. He’s a god.

A god with a camera.

When I tell him I bought him a new camera with the money I stole from my parents, he gets mad, furious, livid. He doesn’t want anything to do with my parents.

“My dad broke your camera, it’s only fair that he pays for it.”

“I don’t fucking want it, Pixie. I can pay for my own goddamn camera.”

We fight, and then I strip my clothes off and demand that he take my picture with the exact camera that my parents’ money had bought. That gets his attention. I can sense a thrum of excitement in him. It gets me excited too and grinning, I submit to him. He takes snap after snap of me, until his lust becomes the most powerful thing in the room and he has to abandon the impromptu photoshoot to slake it in my body.

He never uses condoms, though. The big idiot. Says he doesn’t want anything between us.

“You’re crazy. You’re literally crazy. Pulling out method doesn’t always work, you know that, right? You wanna populate the Earth with little Abels?”

“Nah, I wanna populate the earth with little Pixies.”

I roll my eyes at him. We’re so young. We can’t have kids. But damn it, it sounds so amazing. If he gets me pregnant, then there’s another bond between us that no one can dare break. But of course, that shouldn’t be the reason to bring a child into this world.

No, a child should be brought into this world for the right reasons. On this, I will never budge.

Although, I will admit that I love the entire process of baby-making. In fact, that’s all I ever want to do. I’m ashamed to admit but there are times when I don’t even want Abel to get out of my body. I wish I could sleep like this, with him buried inside me. I’m not alone in my desires; Abel feels the same way. In fact, even our arguments end up in sex. Especially, when I scream at him to pick up his clothes because he’s a slob, or demand that he close the door while taking a piss, as he calls it.

“Boundaries, Abel!”

He laughs, finishes up his business in the bathroom and fucks me against the wall of the hallway.

“Don’t you get it, Pixie? There’s no place for a boundary between us. I won’t allow it.”

Why does he have to be so insane? Why does it have to turn me on so much? Why don’t I mind drowning in him, in his dark lust and unconventional desires?

Because trust me, they are unconventional.

There’s no consideration of place and time for him. Even if we’re out or riding the subway or walking down the street, he’ll touch me in less than appropriate places. I blush and get mad at him and tell him to cut it out, like I used to back in school corridors, but he doesn’t listen, and that makes me smile.

“Come on, Pixie. What’s the fun in hiding when I can just pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and fuck you against that brick wall right now?”

The brick wall in question is the one in the alley behind a Chinese place we just finished having dinner at.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers, tugging at my clothes, pressing me into the wall. “I think you would, Pixie. I think you’d love that.”

“N-no.” Even though I say it, I know I’m excited. I know I’m deliberately teasing him.

“You can’t lie for shit, Pixie.” He pulls me toward him and my legs have no choice but to go around him, my spine has no choice but to arch, grinding my core on his hard dick.