And then, it starts: his slow rocking. At first, it’s only superficial; his cock goes to the back of my mouth, that’s only slightly uncomfortable. But then, he pushes forward, making me take almost all of him. I dig my nails on the hard flesh of his thighs as my knees dig into the hardwood floor, and my ass and back hit the wall.
I’m choking on his length and he knows it. He stares down at me with mean, hooded eyes. “Am I curing you, Pixie?”
I moan, making him feel the vibrations on his length, arching my neck so I can take him in more.
He bares his teeth, like he’s an animal or a savage from olden times. “You’re a goddamn goddess, baby.”
His grunts and curses and praises are all making it better. It’s hard to breathe and my mouth is completely stretched out but I don’t care. Yeah, he’s making me feel better with his brutal thrusts and his brutal fingers in my hair. He’s curing me, making me forget everything. My medicine-man.
I let him use me and in that, I use him too. I play with my heavy breasts, pinch my sore nipples and flick my clit.
My body jerks and my curves bounce with his stabs and then, I’m coming on my hand and moaning all around his cock. He can’t hold on much after that. He starts firing his cum down my throat. Lash after lash of his sweet, salty cream. I cough out some, but mostly I gulp it down. I fill my stomach with the medicine he gives me; only then can I breathe.
Abel lets go of my hair and the strands fall down on my back as he pulls out, his cock all wet and shiny, coated in his own cum and my saliva. Wet strands connect my sore lips to the crown of his shaft, like some sort of erotic string of life. He’s about to lean over and get me up so he can wrap his arms around me; I know that. But I press my palms hard on his thighs and stop him.
On my knees, craning my neck up, I look at him, my husband, my god. “I’m scared.”
I don’t tell him about what but he already knows. He thumbs my wet, swollen lips, looking down at me. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll always take care of you.”
“It’s crazy.”
“So be it.”
“I don’t care if it’s a sin.”
“It’s not a sin. Nothing we do together is a sin. No matter how unconventional it is or wrong for other people, it’s right for us.”
“Yeah. It is. This is right for us. For me and you. I don’t want to follow any more rules. I don’t want to be like other people.” Swallowing, I nod. “I want to do it.”
The words are out and it makes me feel lighter. It makes me feel alive.
“You sure, Pixie?”
“I think I need to. I think we need to. We need our own world, where we set the rules. This world isn’t enough for us.”
He leans down, his silver cross dangling, grazing my lips, and hauls me to my feet. But he doesn’t let me stand on them even for a second. His hands go to my naked butt and hoist me up, my thighs winding around his waist.
Resting his forehead over mine, he whispers, “If you want a different world, Pixie, I’ll build it with my own hands. I’ll build the ground, the sky, the fucking stars. I’ll build you an entire universe. But you have to promise me something.”
I put my hand on his cheek. “I’ll promise you anything.”
“You won’t shed a single tear for your parents or that town. Not one. Not anymore.”
“I promise.”
He plants a hard kiss and then takes me to our bed. Our world. Our kingdom.
Our first shoot is set for this Sunday.
Yup, I’m doing it. We are doing it. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to accept that in seven days’ time I’m going to be naked in front of a camera. I’m going to have sex while the red light on a black device will be blinking, and then the lens will capture me, capture our love and it will be put in front of the whole world.
The entire week, I watch porn on Abel’s computer. It’s loud and garish and some of it is disgusting.
I learn that there are different kinds of porn for different kinds of people. Hardcore with cheesy storylines. Fetish porn that I’ve not been able to watch. Female-centric erotica where things are romantic and tasteful, but still a little fake. And then, there are videos where the couple actually looks like they’re having a good time. Their intimacy shows through their looks, their moans, their movements. I think these are the ones Blu was talking about the other day: amateur sex-tapes.