I see him coming on my untamed curls and my stomach, and I swear I can still feel his cum on there.
“But you came on my… You came outside.”
Groaning, he fists the fabric of my t-shirt. “Yeah. And that’s because I’m sick. I wanted to see my cum spray on your cunt. I wanted to brand you.”
His words make me arch my back and show off my heavy, engorged tits to him. “Oh. I d-didn’t…”
“Do you know when I realized I fucked up?” He swallows. “When I woke up with your blood on my cock.”
A tiny whimper escapes me, and I grip his biceps. “I woke up with blood on my thighs too. And your cum. Dried up on my tummy.”
His forehead is resting on mine and I can feel his words on my mouth when he says, “Do you know what happens when a man comes inside you, Willow? Do you know what will happen if I fill your pussy with my cum?”
I jerk out a nod. “Yes.”
“Yeah? Tell me.”
My fingers dig into his arms at his tone. Like he thinks I really am naïve. He thinks I don’t know anything about the world and it’s his job to educate me. He’s really teaching me worldly things.
I don’t know why this turns me on so much. But it does.
Gasping, I begin, “If y-you come inside me and fill me up with your cum, I can get pregnant.”
The P word makes me both horny and scared. I’m so confused by my reaction. The only thing I should be feeling is fear. I should be scared of getting pregnant. I shouldn’t be getting wet.
Simon brings his hand to cup my cheek. “Do you want that? Do you want to get pregnant, Willow?”
At last, I feel the right emotion. Fear.
My eyes widen, and I shake my head, almost violently. “No. Never. I don’t…”
Simon frowns, his sexual haze leaching out of his eyes as he studies my reaction. “You don’t what?”
Swallowing, I grip his shirt. “I don’t ever want to get pregnant. Not ever.”
He moves away, causing me to let go of him. He’s all serious now as he scrutinizes me. “Explain.”
I huff, blowing at my bangs.
What just happened?
I’m hot and horny and so fucking afraid at the same time. I huff again.
I’ve never really thought about getting pregnant. I mean, come on. I’ve only had one boyfriend and until last night, I never even had sex.
Unlike other girls, I daydream about death, not giving birth to new life.
But as soon as Simon uttered the word pregnant, I knew. I knew it in my heart that I’ll never have babies. I can never have them.
“Look at me, Simon. Look at where I am. I have to take meds, do therapy to be normal. Not that I’m ashamed of it. I mean, I’m trying not to be. I’m learning. But I can’t have babies. Ever. What if my baby turns out like me? What if I curse her with my illness.” I sweep my bangs off my face. “I can’t do that to her. I –”
“Willow,” he cuts me off with a black frown. “Shut the fuck up.”
And I do.
Simon crosses his arms across his chest. “You’ll have babies.”
“What?”
“Not now but when the time is right. And you won’t think about cursing them because it’s bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve said it a hundred times before and I’m saying it again, you’re a fighter. There’s nothing wrong with being a fighter. You’re not less than anyone. If anything, you’ll teach them to be like you. You’ll teach them to fight. Am I clear?”
My eyes have welled up and my throat is full of one and only one emotion: love. For him.
As if the pills weren’t enough? He has to go and do this.
Seriously. If I wasn’t in love with him, I would think he’s being cruel by being so… nice.
I nod wordlessly.
“Excellent,” he clips and produces the pill in front of me from out of nowhere. “Even though, I didn’t come inside you. We’re not taking any chances.”
Dutifully, I open my mouth and he puts it on my tongue before giving me a drink of water. Then he sets the glass aside and flicks the bangs out of my eyes, wiping the tears that have escaped off my cheeks.
God, I’m such a mess. Such a giant, sniffling mess.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“For what?”
“For ruining your plans.”
He eyes me, still tucking my wayward hair behind my ears. “My plans.”
I nod, clutching his shirt and bringing him in for a hug. I put my head on his chest and swing my legs to and fro. “You wanted to have sex with me, but I ruined it by crying.”
His laugh vibrates his chest. “What makes you think I wanted to have sex with you?”
Shifting away, I look up at his smiling face. “Why did you close the blinds?”