Simon’s looking out the window to our side, appearing lost, and it’s such torture to just stand here, immobile, so far away from him. But I don’t know what else to do.
“She wouldn’t go to sleep until we finished them. And I couldn’t say no to her. I could never say no to my mom, actually. She loved being outdoors. Loved the willow tree in our backyard. I remember spending my summer vacations under that tree. When I was a kid, I used to think that my mom was so bright and full of life. I thought she had so much energy. She was always doing something, going somewhere, and I was always with her. She took me everywhere, vacations, shopping, and I thought it was because she loved me.
“She did love me, but she took me with her because she was alone. Because she needed company and my dad was always busy. He was always here. At Heartstone. With his patients. And my mom…” He sighs. “Well, my mom was lonely. She waited for him. She was good at that. Waiting. And my dad was good at saying no. So that left me. I don’t know how I compared but I did everything I could. To make her feel less lonely.”
My heart’s beating so loud. Louder than the storm outside. It’s a wonder I can hear him. It’s a wonder I can understand what he’s saying.
Most of all, it’s a wonder I haven’t hugged him yet. This lonely, lonely man.
Simon’s always been a fixer, hasn’t he? Always been a hero.
He’s a rock.
But right now, he’s a brittle one. He could break any second; he’s so stiff. So devastated.
I know I said I wouldn’t ask but I think he needs this. He needs the push.
“What… What happened to her?”
Simon looks away from the window at my words, and for a second I think I’ve ruined it all. He won’t tell me.
But then, he puts the book on the shelf and shoves his hands inside his pockets. In a flash, he’s back to being himself. He isn’t devastated anymore. He’s angry. Furious, even.
“She killed herself.”
My mouth falls open as I feel the breath getting knocked out of me. “Simon –”
The look he gives me is the angriest I’ve ever gotten from him and I almost draw back in my place. “I’d like to see you in my office this afternoon.”
With that, he leaves, and all I can do is watch him do it.
Hours later, when I go to his office and see the closed blinds and hear the two clicks of the door closing and locking, I don’t feel the same satisfaction as I felt days ago.
“Simon, listen—”
“Don’t say no,” he rasps.
There’s so much anguish packed in those three words that my tears start falling. Like I’m the rain and he’s the cloud that makes me flow.
Does he really think I’ll ever say no to him? If he does, then he really doesn’t know the things I feel for him. The things I’ll do for him. The depths I’ll go to and fall in, for him.
Simon Blackwood doesn’t know anything, then.
I nod and he’s on me.
It’s okay. We can talk later. Right now, if he needs my body to feel better, then I’ll give it to him.
I become completely pliable as he lowers me down on the hardwood floor. He makes quick work of my clothes and enters me in one smooth thrust, because even agitated I’m wet as fuck for him.
It’s like my body knows he needs me right now. He needs me more than he’s ever needed me and every feminine part of me is loose to let him in.
My pussy makes cream for him so it’s easier for him to slide in. My internal muscles clench and release so he can get the maximum pleasure. My skin becomes more sensitive, softer, more pillowy so he can dig his fingers in.
I am his playground, and he can play all he wants. I’m his medicine in this moment, curing his illness. His princess slaying his dragons.
His rhythm is choppy but even then, we move in sync. I think this is the most in sync, in rhythm we’ve ever been. He’s staring into my eyes with such passion, such turbulence that I wind my legs around his waist and arch my back to let him in deeper. The hardness of the floor doesn’t even register with how hard he is above me.
Simon has an arm braced up by my head and his other is clutched in a fist in my hair. It’s like he’s holding on to me because he thinks he might drown. The look in his gaze is so lost and so horny, it breaks my heart.
I won’t let him drown; I tell this to him with my eyes. I tell him when I gasp his name. I tell him when he pants into my mouth, his brows bunched up in a heavy frown.