She’s right.
This is their world. They control it. They write the story. They spread the rumors.
I want to cross the boundary, the line that separates me from them. That takes me far, far away from this shitty town and its shitty people.
In all the craziness, I forgot to tell everyone that I quit.
When Tina comes back from her shift, I sit her and Maggie – she’s been my babysitter all day while everyone visited me – down and tell them. They’re both happy for me. They’ve been wanting me to go and explore. Do the things I wanted to do before I lost my parents. Only they didn’t know that I’ve been afraid to do them for so long.
Only he knows.
I spend the night packing. Not that I have a lot of things with me, but still. When I go to pack the black t-shirt Zach threw at me when he kicked me out, I realize that my mom’s nightie is up in his room.
Somehow, I forgot about that.
I thought getting parted from one last thing that belonged to my mom would devastate me. It’d be like she died all over again.
But I’m okay.
Her nightie is not her and neither is our house.
Besides, I feel kinda content knowing that Zach has something of me. His instinct would be to throw it away. But still.
When I’m done packing, I sit down and write a letter.
It’s unplanned and impulsive. But when I start, I can’t stop.
The next day, Sunday, is spent saying goodbye to everyone and collecting my last paycheck. Mrs. S is stern, as usual. But still, she says I did a very brave thing, coming to Mrs. Prince’s rescue. She doesn’t say anything about how Zach came to my rescue but whatever. She doesn’t have a right to say anything anyway. I don’t work for her anymore.
Leslie and Grace both hug me and fuss over me and tell me to send them pictures of all the places I visit.
“I always knew he liked you,” whispers Grace.
Tears fill my eyes and I nod. “Yeah. He liked me.”
Then the time comes to say goodbye to a little boy I’ll miss the most: Art.
I spend my last evening with him. We watch movies. I make him his favorite pancakes. I read him his favorite story.
“Where’s Zach?” he asks.
A lump forms in my throat and a tiny little gasp comes out that I manage to cover up with a cough. “He’s out. But he’ll be back.”
“When?”
“Maybe tomorrow.”
“Will he leave like you?” he asks, staring at me with innocent, sad eyes.
I can’t stop my tears then.
Technically, Art’s nothing to me. We don’t share a blood relationship. I didn’t even know him before last year, but I feel like I’ve known him forever.
He’s my little brother. My baby. Orphaned and bullied like me. And like me, totally enamored with Zach.
I grab his hand and play with his tiny fingers. “Yeah. But you know what?”
“What?”
I kiss his first finger. “One day you’re going to leave too.”
“Me?”
I kiss his second finger. “Yes. You’re going to leave this town and you’re going to go somewhere real nice. Maybe a city or another town where they have lakes and mountains and there’s just so much sky, and winter. Snow, maybe. Do you like snow?”
He beams. “I’ve never seen it.”
“I know. We live in a hot place, huh?” I’m at his third finger now. “Well, then you’ll go to a snowy town and you’ll love it there. And you’ll meet all these interesting people and you’ll make all the friends.”
“Will they be like the kids at school?”
I place a kiss on his fourth finger, then his thumb. “Maybe. Bullies are everywhere, you know. They come in all shapes and sizes and ages. But remember what Zach said? Bullies will never change but we will. We’ll change and grow and one day, it won’t matter to us what they do. We’ll be ourselves. Our stronger, braver selves.”
He nods, still smiling. “Yeah, we’ll be so brave, they won’t touch us.”
Finally, I kiss the center of his palm. “Yup.”
***
It’s Monday.
The day I leave and the day they let Zach go.
I’m waiting for him outside the police station. It threatens to be a hot morning with a baking sun and sizzling humidity.
But then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to be here for that. I’ll cross the line today and go north. Somewhere wintry and snowy so I can send Art all the pictures.
My eyes are nailed to the entrance as I wait across the street, and as soon as it swings open and reveals the guy I’ve been waiting for, I jump down off the bumper of my blue car.
Zach’s eyes go immediately to me and he pauses mid-step.
He wasn’t expecting me, I guess.
Oh well, I like to surprise people.
Once, he’s over his initial shock, he begins moving. His long legs jump down the stairs and eat up the asphalt until he comes to stand before me.