Dirty, Reckless Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 3)

She blinks at me, and my stomach sinks into the carpet. She knew. Ava knew Noah was Colton’s, and she didn’t tell me.

“What can I do? How can I help?” Her eyes glisten with tears when she looks at me.

“Any chance you can rewind time so I don’t get pregnant?”

“Don’t say that.” She puts her hand on top of mine, and I pull mine away. “Everything else might be crazy, but this baby is a gift.”

“Even if its father won’t be around? Even if I’m going to struggle to provide the most basic things?”

“We’ll figure it out. Together. I promise you, I’ll stay by your side if you’ll let me. You just have to tell Colton. It’s not fair to keep this secret.”

“Like Molly kept Noah a secret from him? Like you two kept Noah a secret from me?”

She bites her lip. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

“You knew there was an undetonated bomb sitting in the middle of my world, and you didn’t tell me because it wasn’t yours to tell?”

She nudges the box toward me. “I brought a peace offering.” When I don’t reach for the box, she opens it. “I always go see Star when I’m having a bad day, but after what I heard about last night, I thought . . .”

“That is a shit-ton of donuts.”

“It’s the only way I know how to apologize,” she says softly. “Flowers are nice, but they don’t change anything. But these . . .” She waves to the box in front of her. “It’s like they’re full of hope and possibility.”

“I think you mean sugar,” I say, but my mouth is quirking into a smile. Despite the secret she kept, I’m lucky to have Ava. She’s my very best friend in the world, and while she might be completely naïve when it comes to her brother, I’d have to be an idiot to push her away from me.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I thought I was doing the right thing. When I found out you were pregnant, I should have told you about Noah or made Molly tell you or something. I was surrounded by secrets—your pregnancy, Molly’s child. I didn’t know what to do.” Her brow creases. “I can’t handle you being mad at me.”

“It’s not your fault, Ava. We all have secrets and we’re all a little screwed up, but it’s not your fault.”

“You forgive me?”

“Of course I do. I’m just having a really shitty weekend.” I keep my gaze on the donuts so I don’t have to meet her eyes. My stomach’s a little off this morning, so I pick a plain glazed one instead of one of Star’s richer chocolate ganache specialties.

“What’s up with the trash bags?” she asks.

“That’s Colton’s stuff. I kicked him out this morning. He left without it and hasn’t come back. He’s avoiding my calls, so . . .” I shrug, as if it’s nothing, as if needing to tell Colton that I’m pregnant with his child is no big deal. “He was pissed, but I . . .” Tears spring to my eyes

again.

“I’m sorry he’s an idiot. You’re my person, okay? Don’t forget that. No matter what happens between you and Colt.”

“Thank you,” I say. “I needed to hear that right now.”

Her phone rings. She fishes it from her purse and swipes it to answer before holding it to her ear. “Hello?”

I nibble at my donut and stare longingly toward the kitchen and my unused coffee pot. I drank half a cup at Jake’s this morning, so I can’t have any more. No caffeine, no alcohol, and all the hormones. Pregnancy is surely testing me.

“Hi, Jill,” Ava says. She frowns and looks at her watch. “That is weird. Have you tried his cell?”

“Is everything okay?” I whisper.

Ava turns up a palm and makes a face. “Sure. That makes sense. I can call him too. . . Okay. Yeah. I’ll call you if I hear from him. Thanks. You too.” She taps her phone to end the call then taps on it a couple more times before bringing it back to her ear. “Dad didn’t come home last night, and he’s not answering Jill’s calls.”

I hear the single ring before it clicks over to voicemail.

“Dad, it’s Ava. Call me when you get this, okay?” She ends the call and slides her phone back into her purse as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Do you think he’s okay?”