Lost In Me (Here and Now 1)

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Lizzy says. “They’re fucking shallow idiots.”

“Pull it back up, Liz.”

She shakes her head. “No. It’s stupid. Looking at it is only going to hurt you.”

“Pull it back up.” My determination must be clear in my voice, because she sighs and clicks on the icon. The browser pops back up on the screen.

The image shows Nate kissing a woman, his hand halfway up the black skirt that’s creeping up and exposing her thick thigh. My face is obscured, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I’m

the woman in the picture under the soul-scarring headline: Nate Crane’s Secret Fatty Fetish.

I reach over Lizzy and scroll down to the text of the article—a bunch of nothing trying to make legitimate journalism out of spotting Nate making out with an overweight woman outside a St. Louis nightclub. There’s no mention of who the woman in the picture is—as if identity is irrelevant—and no mention of what Nate and the girl did before or after making out outside the nightclub. But Nate’s words echo in my head.

“You begged. Right there outside the club, you begged me until I ripped your panties off and you were too busy biting my neck to talk anymore. Is that what you’re hoping to remember? How you wanted me so badly you let me finger you out in the open, against that building where anyone could have seen?”

He wasn’t lying about that. The evidence is right in front of me.

“Do you think I saw this?” I ask Liz.

She chews on her lower lip and shrugs. “It would explain your drastic diet changes.”

“It doesn’t answer any of my questions, though. Like why would I cheat on Max and how far did it go and…what the hell am I going to do?”

“We’ll figure this out. Let me think. Three months ago seems to be when everything changed. That was our graduation, the night you met Nate, and—”

“She started taking those out-of-town baking gigs three months ago.”

Lizzy and I turn toward Drew in unison as she pushes back into the kitchen, coffee in one hand, chocolate croissant in the other.

“That was even before this place was opened, but you were doing side gigs for people.”

Lizzy’s eyes are wide, her fingertips to her mouth. “I didn’t even think of that. I found it weird at the time, but I was kind of pissed at you for dropping me. I didn’t really give it much thought beyond that it was yet another reason you were better than me.”

“I’m not better than you. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

She waves away my apology.

“Where was I going?” I ask Drew.

“Different cities,” she says around a mouthful of croissant. “I bet you can find your flight information in your email.”

Lizzy’s already tapping at the keyboard, pulling up my travel folder in my email client. “Bingo.”

I scan the destinations from the subject line. “LA, Seattle, New Orleans.”

Lizzy opens a new tab and searches Nate Crane tour schedule. She clicks through a link and pulls up the calendar on his website. “The dates and cities of your gigs all line up with Nate Crane performances.”

I step back and press my head against the wall before sinking to the floor. “Liz. What have I done?”

“OH, CRAP, Liz! I need to get a shower and get dressed. I have a cake consult in fifteen minutes.”

Lizzy arches a brow. “I think Cally will forgive you if you aren’t looking your best.”

“Not Cally,” I say, grabbing my keys. “A wedding cake consultation.”

Lizzy grins. “With Cally and William.”

My jaw drops and my eyes water. Will and Cally visited me in the hospital. Cally even gushed over my engagement ring, but I didn’t notice she was wearing a ring too. “That’s…wonderful.”