Lost In Me (Here and Now 1)

Lizzy and I are laughing by the time we climb into Lizzy’s car, and I have to lean my head back against the seat and catch my breath.

“Here’s the plan,” Lizzy says when we’re on the road and headed to the bakery. “We’re going over there when Nate comes back into town. You’ll corner him. Get some answers.”

The smile falls from my face. “What if I don’t want the answers?” I whisper. “I mean, I do. Of course I do. But I’m scared, Liz.”

She pulls into a spot in front of the building and puts the car in park before reaching over to squeeze my hand. “You could just wait and see if your memories come back.”

“They’re starting to. I remember more every day, but it’s all stuff from fall semester and the beginning of my relationship with Max. None of my memories are answering my questions yet.”

We go inside the bakery and head to the back, working together to pull out supplies for Saturday’s calla lily explosion.

“Today, Max told me something.” I run my fingers along the prepared flowers, searching for imperfections. “He didn’t propose right before my accident like everyone assumed.”

Lizzy frowns. “Then where’d the ring come from?”

“He proposed before that. A long time before that. And I told him I wasn’t ready.”

She covers her lips with her fingers and studies me. “You’ve always wanted Max.”

“I know.”

“When did he propose?”

“Three months ago.” I drop the flower I was inspecting and walk to the back door and push it open. I can’t breathe. I need fresh air. “I didn’t give him an answer and held on to the ring all this time.”

“Three months ago?” She arches a brow. “As in, after you met a sexy rocker?”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I say.

“I think we’re still missing something,” she says.

“What do you mean?”

“That night you came home from the hospital and Nate climbed in bed with you in the middle of the night… Did you lock the door?”

“I did. I’m sure of it.”

“So you gave him a key.” She nods. “That says something about your relationship, I think.”

“Why would I give him a key?” Panic starts that slow-clawing climb in my chest. “Didn’t you say he’d never been to town?”

She shrugs. “Maybe you knew he’d be coming.”

“And I gave him a key when Max already has one? Really? I mean, I was obviously being reckless, but that seems a little over the top.”

“So you think he broke in?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “But I know I locked the door.”

“What if he had a key for a different reason?” Liz asks.

“I’m not following.”

“What if he has a key to your apartment because he owns the building? What if Nate is your silent partner?”

“Fuck,” I whisper.

“Think about the timeline. You go to Asher’s concert and meet Nate either shortly before or shortly after Max proposes, and within a couple of weeks, someone’s buying this vacant building downtown and setting it up to be your bakery and apartment. Maybe you screwed around with Nate because you were feeling insecure and then he offered you your dream on a platter right before Max proposed.”