Fall to You (Here and Now 2)

In that moment, I know without a doubt she’s mine. Hell, I’ve seen my baby pictures enough times to know what I looked like as an infant, and here’s this newborn with the same big blue eyes, the same impossibly thick mop of dark hair.

Meredith leans down, lifts the baby out of the stroller, and hands her to me. I take her, awkwardly at first until I figure out how she fits in the crook of my arm and against my chest.

She smells like baby powder, and her eyes lock on mine. Her little fingers wrap around my thumb.

Then in the space of two heartbeats and one long, ragged breath, I fall in love.

I’ve heard people describe moments like this as a moment when something shifted inside of them. But it’s not like that for me and Claire. Quite the opposite. For the first time in my life, I’m still. Everything changes. The world shifts around us and we click into place. Daughter. Father. Just like that.

“You should have told me,” I whisper. “I deserved to know.”

“I won’t let everyone in this town think I got knocked up.”

I tear my gaze away from Claire to look at her mother. “You were willing to let them believe that when they thought Will was the father.”

She frowns. “That’s different.” She holds out her hands, ready to take Claire back.

I shake my head and find my way to the couch. Claire is a month old. I’ve already missed too much. “Different because he has money,” I say softly because I don’t want to upset Claire.

“We could be together,” she says. “I’d tell everyone she’s yours if you were with us. If we could be a family.”

“I will be her family,” I tell Meredith without taking my eyes off Claire. “I don’t have to leave Hanna for that to be true.”

“Why does that fat cunt have such a hold on you?”

The fact that Claire is in my arms is the only thing that keeps me calm. I look at Meredith. I once thought she was the standard of beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes, lithe figure. But now all I see is an ugly, angry person whose former strength turned her hard and brittle.

“Get out of my house,” I say calmly. “You’re not welcome here if you talk about Hanna that way.”

“Then give me my daughter.”

I shake my head. “Go get yourself a cup of coffee or something, Mer. Claire and I have some catching up to do.”

Meredith: Just left Max’s place. Thought you might want to know.

My stomach sinks as I read the words of Meredith’s text. Maybe she’s lying or maybe she’s telling the truth, but the fact of the matter is that, even though I’m the one who insisted things be over between me and Max, my stomach turns sour at the idea of him touching anyone else. Especially Meredith.

I am such a hypocrite.

Nate comes up onto the sun porch and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close until my back is against his chest. “Thank God she went to bed,” he whispers in my ear. “I thought she’d never leave.”

I lean my head against him, and he presses his mouth to the side of my neck. “Be nice to your sister,” I whisper. “She’s going through a hard time.”

“So am I,” he protests. “I’ve barely gotten to touch you all day. These are the sacrifices I make for her, and she doesn’t even appreciate it.” His hands slide under my shirt and flatten against my belly. “Come swim with me.”

“I don’t have a suit,” I object.

“Even better,” he murmurs. Then he’s pulling my shirt off over my head.

I squeak in protest, but he’s already tossed my shirt to the floor and moved to the button on my jeans. “Fine,” I say, wriggling out of my jeans, because this is just what I need to forget about that text from Meredith. Kicking my jeans to the side, I rub my backside against him and find him already hard. “But you should know I’ve never been skinny dipping before. If there’s some sort of etiquette, you need to tell me now.”

He groans and squeezes my hips to still them. “You keep rubbing that excellent ass of yours against me and I’m going to embarrass myself.”

I turn in his arms, biting back my grin. “Really?”

His gaze dips to my breasts. Then he steps back. I’m in nothing but my black satin bra and matching panties, and his eyes flare with heat as he runs them over me. “Take off the bra, Hanna,” he whispers.

I swallow hard and obey, unhooking the clasp at the front and freeing my heavy breasts. The bra falls from my shoulders and I wait. I’ve never liked men to look at me nude or nearly nude. I became a pro at avoiding it with Max. Why is it so different with Nate? Because he’s just a fantasy and this is just temporary?