Fall to You (Here and Now 2)

“Poor girl moved across the country and still couldn’t escape you,” Sam calls out.

Will chuckles, but his face goes serious again as he turns to his bride. “Love isn’t easy. Not the good kind. At least it hasn’t been for us. There have been a lot of obstacles, but we made it here. Cally and I?” He grins at her. “We’re meant to be together. I knew that from the beginning. When I was a teenager, I thought that was all it took, but I learned that destiny—or whatever you want to call it—that’s not enough. We had to fight for each other.” Cally looks up at him, adoration clear in her eyes, and when he meets her gaze, it’s so clear the feeling is mutual that my chest aches with envy. “I’m not perfect, Cally, but you do make me better. If I have to, I’ll fight for you over and over again, and I’ll point to every battle scar and tell our kids, ‘Totally worth it.’”

I feel Max’s eyes on me, and when I turn to him, the intensity in his gaze takes my breath away. I can’t imagine what this weekend must be like for him when our own wedding is supposed to follow in only two weeks.

Will turns to the rest of the room. “We owe so much thanks to you all too. The Thompson girls—Hanna, Liz, and Maggie—you gave Cally the friends she needed when she returned to New Hope, and I thank you for that. To the jerks I call my friends—Sam, Max, Asher—I know this wedding stuff isn’t your favorite, but you’re here anyway. In the time we’ve been friends, you’ve proven you’d drop just about anything for me if I asked you to. I appreciate you. Everyone, thank you for being here. It was tempting to skip the whole to-do, especially after my…ahem…prior difficulties with weddings.” His cheeks actually turn a little pink as the crowd laughs. “But we decided not to get married on the beach in Maui. We wanted you with us. You’ve helped make our lives so awesome. Now let’s drink some wine and hurry toward the part of this weekend where this woman becomes mine forever.”

Applause fills the room as Cally hops out of her seat, wraps her arms around Will’s neck, and kisses him silly.

Again, there’s that ache in my chest. I don’t begrudge them their connection or their happiness. I wouldn’t want any less for my friends. But I do envy them. Just last week, I thought my life was headed in the same direction as theirs—not just the wedding and honeymoon, but the shared life. The laughter and connection. The inside jokes and…togetherness. Having a partner when life throws shit at you. I thought I’d have that with Max.

He’s watching me, but his face is unreadable. Is he thinking the same thing? Or does he resent me for betraying him with Nate?

“Why don’t you two go dance?” Mom asks.

Max stands and offers me his hand. “May I?”

I nod, place my hand in his, and follow him to the dance floor, where I wrap my arms around his neck and pretend we’re the engaged couple Mom thinks we are.

“Relax,” he murmurs in my ear. “It’s just a dance.”

I didn’t realize how stiff I was holding myself. I rest my head on his shoulder. My whole body is exhausted after a day that started before five a.m. and has been go-go-go ever since, and my body turns to mush as I melt against his heat and the comfort of his breath against my ear.

HANNA SMELLS so damn good. I don’t want to let her go. Which is a really fucking bad idea. I need to let her go. I need to put some space between us, go home, and try to sleep—something I haven’t done much of this week. But instead, I’ll stay here as long as I can, holding her in my arms and pretending this is real.

Pretend. After months of pretend, I thought we were past that, but here we are again, and maybe it serves me right. It’s my punishment for not seeing what was in front of my nose for so many years.

“They’re perfect for each other, aren’t they?” Hanna rests her cheek on my chest and watches Cally and William on the other side of the dance floor. “He loves her so much. She didn’t believe he’d ever be able to forgive her for her mistakes, but look at them now.”

I don’t know the whole story of what happened between Will and Cally, but I know enough to understand that their love is truly unconditional. “When you love someone, you can forgive them anything.”

She lifts her head, her dark brown eyes locking on mine. “We both screwed up, didn’t we?”

I nod, my throat thick as she reaches up to brush my hair from my face. Earlier today, I was thinking h

ow much I needed a damn haircut, but now I’m glad it’s falling in my eyes.

“Do you ever wonder if things could have gone differently between us?”

“Every day.”

She nods. “Me too.”

“Things have a way of working out,” I promise, brushing her stomach with my thumb. “No matter what happens, you’ll never regret them.”

“What’s it like?” she asks, fingertips still resting on my jaw. “Being a parent?”

“It’s…awesome.” I clear my throat and swallow back emotion. “But in the literal sense of the word, not the clichéd sense. You’re going to make an amazing mother.”

My eyes burn at the thought and my chest feels too full. How many times have I pictured Hanna’s stomach rounding out with a child? How many times have I rocked Claire to sleep and wanted to share the feeling with the woman I love?

“Can I ask you a question?”

I nod. She can ask me anything she wants if it means I get to keep her in my arms.

“When everything settles down and we don’t have to pretend anymore…will you be with Meredith?”

“No.” I hate that she even has to ask. I’ve tried to make it clear that I’m not interested in Meredith anymore, but I obviously haven’t done a very good job.