Fall to You (Here and Now 2)

“You’re gross.” She smacks him in the chest with the flat of her hand. “Come on, Han.”

We climb into the car, and I grab my bottle of water from the console. I drink and wish I loved water as much as coffee.

She’s starting to pull away from the curb when she says, “I am totally fucking Sam tonight.”

And that’s why her dashboard is now soaking wet.

When I get out of the shower, I find Meredith sitting on my couch, tears swelling in her big eyes as she looks at a piece of paper.

I left Liz down in the bakery putting things away so I could grab a shower, but now I wish we had some sort of secret code because Meredith is in my fricking apartment. I must have left my door unlocked. Eff it!

Tears spill onto her cheeks and she drops her gaze back to the paper in her hands. “You’re lucky, you know. I had to go through all this alone.” Her head bobbles a little as she looks up at me, and I’m pretty sure she’s drunk. Before noon.

I have bigger things to worry about today than some bitch who’s dead set on ruining my life. She doesn’t deserve any of my energy. She’s not worthy of the anger that boils up inside me until I want to punch her. I’ve never gotten into a fight, never been a violent person, but right now, it would feel so good that I have to grab my jeans to keep my hands at my sides.

“What are you doing here?” I want her out of here. Away from me. Looking at Meredith brings back all sorts of pain I don’t want to deal with right now.

“I just wanted him to choose me.” Her tears spill onto the paper—no, not paper. My ultrasound images. I snatch them from her hands before she can ruin them, and she releases an empty laugh. “I wanted him to choose me, and now he’s going to marry her.” She shakes her head. “I mean, you.”

“Leave.” I bite out the word, my stomach convulsing on itself, nausea pushing up into my throat. Because it’s so clear now that this was never about Max. Max is just the substitute for William?

??the man she really wants, the one who’s getting married today, the one who had just proposed to his girlfriend when Meredith decided to blow up my world. “Get out of here.”

“William doesn’t talk to me anymore, and Max only ever calls because he wants to see Claire. Will and I were good together, you know.”

“Do you even hear yourself? He’s in love with someone else. He never wanted you.”

She stands and has to catch herself on the couch when she loses her balance. “You know what’s amazing about you?” she slurs. “Everyone thinks you’re this amazingly sweet and giving person when you’re so self-centered.”

“You don’t know me.”

She smiles sickly. “But I do. And you know who else I know? I know your sister.”

“Leave her out of this. She doesn’t have anything to do with what’s between us.”

She arches a brow. “Doesn’t she? She’s the reason Max asked you out, isn’t she? Even though she had it bad for him, she backed off and had him go out with you, and you didn’t even see that because all you could think about was yourself. Poor Hanna can’t date the guy she likes. Poor Hanna doesn’t get noticed. Never mind poor Liz.”

“Shut up, Meredith.”

I spin around at the sound of Lizzy’s voice and see her walking into my apartment. Her face twists into a snarl as she props her hands on her hips.

“Get out of here,” Liz barks. “He didn’t pick you. Now stop trying to fuck up everyone else’s life just because you’re such a bitch you’ve already screwed up your own.”

Meredith shrugs. “Whatever.”

I watch her leave before turning to Liz. “Is it true?”

Liz chews on her lower lip and shrugs. “It’s ancient history.”

“You liked Max?” The bottom has fallen out of my stomach, and I hate it because this is exactly how Meredith wanted me to feel. She still knows right where to hurt me.

“I would never have gone out with him if I didn’t like him, but it’s not like I was in love with him.”

“But you like him, and when you found out I did too, you never saw him again.”

She shrugs again. “You’re more important to me than any guy, Han.”

I cross to her and wrap my arms around her. “Best. Sister. Ever,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”