I throw all my plans to keep my distance out the window and pull her into my arms. I cradle her against my chest and stroke her hair as she cries for a choice she was never given. But maybe she’s crying for more than that. Maybe these are tears for the man she never got to say goodbye to. Maybe these are also tears for Carter and Teagan, for the damage one man’s recklessness four years ago did to something young and promising between us. If it hadn’t been for Heath, Teagan wouldn’t have worked so hard to push me away. But if it hadn’t been for him, she may have never moved here.
I hold her tighter, letting her cry, letting myself relish the comfort of her presence. I hold her the way I held Max’s hand after they turned off the machines. I knew he was gone but I didn’t want to let go.
I don’t know how long we stand there, but when she pulls away, she’s no longer shaking and she stands a little taller, as if the weight’s been lifted off those beautiful shoulders. Does she have any idea how strong she is?
“Thank you for listening to me,” she says softly, stepping back. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to tell you before.”
I reach for her, then force myself to put my hands back at my sides. “Thank you for trusting me with your story.”
She tucks her hands into her pockets. “I should go.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to invite her to stay when she says, “You’re right. We both need to figure our shit out before we have any business trying to figure us out.”
“Teagan, please . . .”
“Don’t.” Pain flashes over her features, and I hate that I played any part in putting it there. “Don’t make this harder.”
Swallowing, I nod. I knew this was coming, but it doesn’t change the fact that it breaks something inside me, makes the words I love you sit like rocks in my gut. “Let me know if you need anything?”
She rises onto her toes and kisses my cheek. “I think you’ve already given me more than I deserve.”
Teagan
“This emergency girls’ night is called to order,” Shay says, lifting her beer.
“Hear, hear!” Ellie taps her glass to Shay’s.
I grin at my friends. “Thank you, ladies. I’m grateful for you.”
Shay, Molly, Ellie, Nic, and I are all gathered into the booth at the back of Jackson Brews. Ava’s at home with Lauren, who has a nasty little baby cold, but I’m glad the rest of them found a way to meet up with me. Girls’ nights have become a rare exception rather than a rule over the last year or so. Everyone’s so busy.
“So,” Ellie says, folding her arms and leaning forward. “What’s the emergency? Teagan, are you pregnant?”
All the eyes at the table go wide and turn to me.
Shay visibly brightens. “Do I finally have an excuse to kick Carter’s ass for this whole ‘we both need space’ shit?”
Nic presses her hands to her mouth, and tears spill onto her cheeks in the space of a heartbeat. “You’re pregnant?”
“Oh my God.” I shake my head. These women are way too used to drama if they jump to such extreme assumptions. “This is how rumors get started.”
“Who’s pregnant?” Jake asks, stepping up to our table with a notepad in hand. He follows the gaze of everyone at the table to me and takes a half step back. “Holy shit. Does Carter know?”
“Stop. This womb is vacant, and I’m planning to keep it that way for a while yet.” I can’t help it. I laugh.
In addition to giving Carter space the last two weeks, I’ve been giving myself some space. I’ve needed it. I carried around an ugly secret for more than four years, and now that it’s off my chest, I’ve actually been able to spend some time figuring out who I am.
“What about your stomach?” Jake asks, wielding his notepad. “Any plans to have new tenants there?”
Nic frowns. “That metaphor is weird. And not at all appetizing.”
“Yeah,” Jake says. “The second I heard myself say it, I regretted it.”
“Jake,” Ellie says, leaning forward on her elbows to get a better look at Shay’s brother. “Levi said he heard that Easton Connor is looking for a vacation home in Jackson Harbor. If he needs a real-estate agent, please put in a good word for me.”
Shay’s eyes go wide. “What? Easton . . . What?”
“Who’s Easton Connor?” I ask, then the familiar name clicks into place in my mind. There are Connor jerseys all over town. The guy is Jackson Harbor’s single claim to NFL fame. “Easton Connor, the quarterback?”
“Yeah,” Ellie says. “He grew up here, and now he’s looking for a vacation home or something.”
“Why?” Shay says, looking between Ellie and Jake. “He doesn’t have any family here anymore. He . . . Why?”