If It's Only Love (Boys of Jackson Harbor 6)

I cut the thought off before it can fully form. I know she wasn’t planning to pretend the kid was mine. That’s not how Shayleigh functions.

“Teagan said Shay’s a mess about it,” Carter says, and I know he’s poking around for more.

“That makes two of us.”

He takes another sip from my bourbon. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I needed this.”

I shake my head. “That’s okay. You can have it. I don’t have the stomach for the hard stuff tonight, after all.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah,” I say wearily. The last person to preface a question with that was Shay. She wanted to know what I would have done if I’d known Abi wasn’t mine. In retrospect, it’s pretty obvious that she didn’t tell me about her pregnancy on Monday because I gave the wrong answer. Every second since she walked away from me this afternoon, I’ve been mentally poking at my answer—testing it for inaccuracies. But I gave her my honest response.

“Are you in love with my sister?”

“Fuck, I thought you were going to ask me something difficult. Yes. Of course I’m in love with her. Madly.”

Carter’s eyes widen and his jaw goes slack. I’ve shocked him. I don’t know if he wasn’t expecting that answer or if he wasn’t expecting it to come out so easily. “Wow. I thought you two might be on your way there, but . . . already?”

“Always.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “And I’m pretty sure it goes both ways.”

“Me too,” he says softly. “But if you love her, why are you letting her do this?”

I scrub a hand over my face. “Fuck, Carter. I think she might be a better person than me, because she stepped back twice. Two times she stepped back so I could do what I needed to do for my daughter. And if she wants to move to L.A. and raise this kid on her own, then I . . .”

“You don’t want her to stay?”

“Yes, I want her to stay. I want her to be here with you guys. She’ll be all alone out there. I want her to have help.” I shake my head. “I know her well enough to know she thinks this makes her like Ann. I bet she doesn’t want your mom to find out that the father is married.” Other than that foolish slip with Shay, Carter’s the only one I ever told about Frank’s infidelity.

“Since when does Shay know about Ann?”

I drop my gaze to the table, and Carter curses. “I shouldn’t have said anything. In the moment, I was trying to explain that I want to be as good a father as Frank was.”

“By bringing up that you thought he was a cheater? Jesus, Easton, it’s not even true.”

I lift my head. “What?”

“It’s not even true. When my mom was sick, when we thought we might lose her too, I finally talked to her about it, and she said it’s not true.”

“But your father sold the whole business. Ann said he was in love with her but felt awful about it and sold the business as a way to recommit to his family.”

“Ann was his assistant at the construction company. If she was the problem, he could have just replaced her. He sold the company and started the brewing business because that’s what he wanted to do.” Carter swirls the bourbon in its glass. “She was in love with Dad. Mom knew, but Dad didn’t reciprocate. It was awkward, but Ann had a kid at home, so Mom and Dad didn’t want her to lose the job, and since plans to sell were already in the works, Dad just rode it out.”

I think back to the woman Mom called a friend for so many years. Why did I believe her when Frank never gave me a reason to believe he was capable of being unfaithful? “I can’t believe I spent all this time taking Ann’s word for it.”

“I can’t believe you told my sister. Jesus, how long has she been walking around thinking our father was a cheater?”

Shame heats the back of my neck. “Since the night of his funeral.”

He releases a colorful string of curses then drains his glass. “Well, you’re gonna have to fix that shit. Dad loved Mom. Beginning to end. Even if that story had been true, using him as an excuse to stay in a bad marriage was bullshit.”

I lift my beer with a shaking hand and take a sip. Then another. “I’ve always been afraid I’d turn out like my father. All I knew to do to prevent it was follow Frank’s lead.”

“But you weren’t following his lead. Your lives were nothing alike. You were just doing what you thought was right, and anyone who sees you with Abi knows you’re nothing like your dad. You did the best you could for her, and she’s turned out great.” He pauses a beat. “But this isn’t about Abi. This is about Shay. Be honest, do you only want her to stay because you think she’d be better off close to family, or do you want her to stay close to you?”