I paused, watching the sky burst into greens and purples. “I don’t think about that. There’s no point.” At least I tried not to think about it. It wasn’t as if I had options or choices. “Michael really wants to walk again. That’s what we’re all focused on.”
Another boom echoed across the sky, bringing with it another glitter of color.
“There’s always a point in having hopes and dreams—ambitions—isn’t there?”
I kept focused on the sky. “I really want Michael to walk again.” If I could have that, if my yachting career did nothing else but make that happen, every dream of mine would have come true.
“My brother was in the special forces,” Hayden said a few minutes later and I faced him, wanting to hear every word he was saying. I’d assumed his brother would be a lawyer or a doctor. The military seemed so removed from Hayden and what he did, but it explained the crew cut in the photograph I’d seen. “SAS. I hated it when he joined up. Partly because I knew I’d miss him and partly because I wasn’t going to be able to look after him where he was going.”
I tried hard not to, but I reached across and curled my fingers around his wrist, wanting to provide some comfort. Hayden Wolf wasn’t a man anyone would assume would worry over his younger brother. But maybe we weren’t so different. “Maybe that’s part of the reason why he did. So you didn’t have to,” I replied.
He let out a breath and I released his arm. “I’d never thought of it like that, but you might be right. He came back different. Which of course he was bound to because war changes you but also he just didn’t need me as much. Maybe that was his plan.”
Hayden sounded like he wanted to be needed by his brother. Would I miss it if I didn’t have Michael relying on me?
The fireworks continued and we watched, commenting every now and then on how beautiful they were, our confessions to each other settling like foundations of a building.
“I was angry with you for not leaving the boat this evening,” Hayden said out of nowhere. “You deserved a break. When I gave the crew the night off—I meant for you to go with them.”
“It’s my job to be here. You’re meant to be on vacation. If anyone deserves a break, it’s you. You’ve not stopped since you came aboard.” I wasn’t sure he was going to make it a full eight weeks. He was barely sleeping and working through the night every night.
“But that’s my choice. I’m trying to save my business.”
“And yachting is my business. You take your career seriously and so do I. I’m not leaving my guest without a stewardess on board. What if you needed something?”
“Is that the only reason you stayed?” he asked.
I’d never been a good liar, but with Hayden I found myself revealing parts of me I’d kept completely secret. “I don’t know,” I replied. It was only half the reason. I could hardly confess the rest.
He paused. “You’re beautiful,” he said, and my heart thundered in my chest.
“Because I care about my job?” I teased, trying to lighten the moment.
“Exactly.” He narrowed his eyes and the air all around me pressed against my skin, making me aware of every part exposed to the warm breeze.
He turned his entire body toward me. “I want to kiss you.” My heartbeat got louder, mixing with the booms of the fireworks. I could make a joke and move away; it was what I would do if any other guest made a pass at me. I could excuse myself. I could run.
But I didn’t. I didn’t want to avoid anything. So I stayed, looking at him, my gaze flickering to the faded sky. “I can’t kiss a guest,” I whispered. I’d never wanted to before. Never even been tempted. I’d assumed that would always be the case, that I’d always care about my job above any fleeting moment of . . . whatever this was. But right then, it felt like a choice between my job and my soul. Like I fundamentally needed this deep down inside. Needed him. Maybe it was what my dad had said about having something for myself. Maybe it was just that I’d gone so long without a man touching me, but I didn’t think so. It was Hayden Wolf and the way he kept constantly blowing my expectations of him out of the water, his lack of entourage, his moments of humor and his dedication to his business despite the fact that he probably didn’t have to work again given his obvious wealth. It was the way he’d given the crew the night off when there was no reason to. He was a good man. A man so beautiful I caught my breath every time I saw him, and a man I wanted to kiss.