I reached out across the table and pressed her hand between mine. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just being kids.”
She shook her head. “He hit a rock. His spine fractured. In the beginning he was paralyzed from the neck down.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I repeated.
She exhaled and looked down at her lap, as if she’d brought herself back to the here and now, away from the memories.
“It’s just easier to live with some days than others. My dad never blamed me. Never seemed angry, just took it all in his stride. We just got unlucky. Even when my mom left I never saw him crack. He must have been heartbroken but he never let it show. He acted like it was all normal.”
I wanted to ask about her brother’s injuries now and ask her why her mother had left. But I’d reminded her of too much pain tonight and I wanted to heal, not hurt. “He sounds like an incredible man.”
Her eyes went glassy and she smiled. “He really is.” She tilted her head. “And Michael too.”
“And you’re here, paying the bills, following the rules, making sure everyone is happy like it’s your responsibility to ensure everyone’s looked after. Are you atoning for your sins or just incredible? A little of both, I think.” She was all about honor and duty—both traits I admired in the people close to me.
“Can I get you anything else?” the waiter asked, interrupting us.
Avery tried to pull her hand from mine, but I tightened my grip.
“Do you want a coffee?” I asked her.
She shook her head, the golden strands of her chestnut-brown hair highlighted by the fairy lights filling the terrace.
“Just the bill please,” I said to the waiter.
“We can’t see Etna anymore,” she said, glancing over at the darkened sky that had swallowed up the volcano.
“I think we can be sure it’s still there.”
“That’s comforting, isn’t it?” she asked. “I’ll probably never sit in this spot again, won’t ever come back here again, but I’ll always know what the view looks like. It won’t change.”
I frowned. “You won’t ever come back? Is it not what you’d thought it would be?”
She reached across the table and slid her palm over the top of our joined hands. “It’s so beautiful, but I’ve been doing the Med season for seven years and this is the first time I’ve been.” She shrugged. “I doubt I’ll make it again.”
My gut churned at her resignation. It was as if she knew that her life wasn’t about pleasure or enjoyment—it was about service and duty. She’d accepted her fate without any bitterness. I struggled to accept that future for her. What was it with this girl? I wanted to fix everything for her, rearrange the world to see that smile on her face. “Never say never,” I said. “Etna will be here in the morning when the sun rises.”
I released her hands, pushed my chair out and stood. It was time for it to be just the two of us. I wanted this selfless woman to myself.
I held my hand out and she paused before accepting it. I led her through the tables. We’d not talked about it, but today we’d morphed into a couple, taking a romantic break together. Going back to my room was the next obvious step, wasn’t it?
“Hayden.” She slowed as I led us into the hotel lobby.
I glanced back at her.
“If anyone was to find out.”
I turned to her. “I promise they’re not going to. But if you don’t want to do this, then I’ll walk you back to—”
“That’s the problem, Hayden.” She cupped my neck in her hand. “I want you too much. I’m risking everything.”
I grasped her wrist. I had no right to ask her to risk anything for me, but the selfish bastard in me couldn’t give her up. “I promise everything will be fine. No one will know.”
For a fleeting second, I wondered what would happen tomorrow. If she lost her job I could find her something else, something better, couldn’t I? But what if I still wanted her? How could one night with her ever be enough? But even if it wasn’t, I couldn’t give her anything else. It wasn’t how I led my life.
She pressed her hand against my chest. “Let’s go.”
Silently, we made our way to my room. With each step my body wound tighter and tighter and by the time I opened the door my heart was thundering in my chest and my muscles threatened to rip through my clothes.
I slid a hand around her waist and cupped her ass, pulling her toward me as I backed into the suite and shut the door. I exhaled at the click of the lock. Finally, for the first time ever, we were alone.
In private.
We’d spent time together in my office, but we were always only a few feet away from her colleagues. Even watching the fireworks, we’d been aware that Captain Moss wasn’t far away. Here, it was just us—Hayden and Avery. Not guest and stewardess. Right here, at this moment, time was suspended—nothing existed outside of this room.