The echo of his arms circled my waist and my professional smile disappeared. I should have forgotten how it felt to be held by him. Three months was long enough. But the ache for him was still there, it had settled under my skin and I wasn’t sure if it would ever leave.
“Avery, Avery, this is the captain. On the bridge, please.”
Grateful for the interruption, I snatched the radio from my waist.
“On my way,” I replied, then turned to August. “Keep an eye on the table, but I don’t want you going out there on your own, okay?”
“If you’re with the captain for long, I’ll go out with her,” Neill said, knowing full well why I didn’t want her to go alone. We really shouldn’t need a buddy system, but that was yachting.
I trailed upstairs, my feet heavy with fatigue, and knocked on the wheelhouse door.
“Come in,” Captain Moss said. “Those handsy guests behaving?”
I shrugged. We both knew they weren’t, but it wasn’t so bad we were going to endanger our tip . . . which probably meant they had bought us. Maybe Hayden had been right and I did have a price. I did things I hated every day only for the money. It couldn’t have been such a stretch for him to think I would have taken a hundred and fifty thousand dollars. The line had been clear to me, but maybe to him I was on the wrong side of the line every day I woke up on a yacht. “They’re manageable.”
Captain Moss rolled his eyes and indicated for me to take a seat. “You’ve had a good season. I know you didn’t get a break in between charters, so it must have been tough on you.”
“I’m looking forward to getting back to California, that’s for sure.” My flight was already booked. I wasn’t even staying the night after the charter finished. I wanted to get the hell off the continent Hayden Wolf was still on. Maybe then I’d be free of him.
It had been months, but I still thought about him constantly. At times I hated him for what he’d accused me of, for how he’d so easily thought me a liar. But other times I just missed him—missed the way he held me, pressed his lips to my forehead. It was worse at night when I dreamed about him—about us—in London, having dinner, watching television, in a real relationship. It had only ever been a fantasy, but it was one that had felt so very real.
“You’ve held this ship together with your professionalism and commitment this season, Avery. I’m proud to work with you. I’ll start the Caribbean season in three weeks and I’d like you back with me.”
It took some effort, but I pulled my mouth into a smile. “That’s really flattering, Captain Moss. I just . . . I don’t know if I can think about next season yet.” All I wanted to do was get away from this boat where I’d fallen in love and my life had morphed into more than being a yachtie for a few weeks. The promise of a different life meant facing my daily reality was harder than usual. Loving Hayden had meant anything was bearable. But now? Every time I opened my eyes, the daylight stung as if it were reminding me of how ridiculous I’d been to think there might be more for me. That I might build a life and a future with someone. I’d dared to love someone, and my heart was now permanently scarred.
He frowned. “I’ve always seen you as a lifer when it comes to yachting. You thinking of switching things up?”
Yachting had never been my passion, certainly not in the same way the sea was Captain Moss’s. It had always been a means to an end. “I’ll be back. I think I just need a break.” I had no choice but to return. I might not have chosen the life of a yachtie, but it had chosen me. “I’d be delighted to join you for the Caribbean season.” I forced my smile a little wider. “But I need a month off.”
He nodded. “You earned it. I was going to suggest we bring August and Skylar along with us, if you think they’re up to it.”
I’d spent the first part of the season distracted and wrapped up in my feelings for Hayden, but despite my lack of attention and the rude awakening we’d all gotten when Hayden left and twelve guests arrived for our second charter of the season, we’d gotten along famously. August had learned quickly, and Skylar had been loyal and hardworking, even if she hadn’t found the rich man she was looking for.
“I’ll ask them. The three of us make a good team.”
“Show me a good team, and I’ll show you a good leader. Nice job, Avery.”