And I’d thrown her away, assumed the worst, accused her of betraying me when really, I’d been the one who betrayed her. I’d not believed in her. I’d not trusted myself.
I was an idiot.
“And that’s it? There’s nothing else?”
Phil shrugged. “A couple of days later Cannon cancelled the job.”
That must have been when my acquisition of Phoenix had been announced.
“I want to hear from you if you ever get another job offer from Cannon. I’ll make it worth your while.”
Phil tipped back the last of his pint and pushed out his chair, leaving me heavy with guilt and unsure of my next move.
“What was all that about?” Landon asked when Phil left.
“All what?” I asked. He’d known why we were here.
“This whole conversation was about Avery. Are you still hung up on her or something? Surely she was just a convenient fuck.”
I leaned back, staring out the window into the black, and let the dark wave of guilt wash over me. What had I done? “We weren’t just fucking.”
“What does that mean?”
I wasn’t sure what it meant. I just knew that between us, it had been different. The connection we had was inexorable. We’d proven that. I’d been drawn to her despite it being the most demanding time in my life, when all I’d worked for, all I’d become was on the line. And she . . . she’d risked her job, her redemption for me.
And it had all worked out for me. I’d bought Phoenix, defeated Cannon. But our relationship had brought her only misery. I’d believed her guilty of a betrayal she wasn’t capable of. Her being with me had ruined everything for her, yet I’d walked away with a bruised ego and an aching heart and I’d thought I was the one badly off. “It means I fucked up.”
“There was plenty of evidence,” Landon said. “You were well within your rights to think she was selling secrets.”
He was wrong. Avery had never shown herself to be the kind of person who would betray me. “I had no right whatsoever. She’d put her career on the line for me. If people had found out about us, she wouldn’t have been able to get another job. Why would I think that after that, she’d betray me? I must have lost my mind.” I thrust my hands through my hair, my body hot with panic. What had I done?
“Jesus, you sound like this woman was really important to you.”
I sighed, sliding down in my chair. “She was.”
“Then go apologize.”
I scoffed. “Oh yeah, because it’s that easy. Integrity and loyalty are at her very core and I accused her of having neither.”
Landon winced. “We all make mistakes. Even you, Hayden Wolf.”
“You saying you do too?”
He rolled his eyes. “Of course not. But if I did and I had a way of setting things right, I’d like to think that I would try.”
I groaned, remembering our last conversation. “She’ll never forgive me. I was nasty. Spiteful. I just felt so . . .” Betrayed wasn’t a strong enough word. Vulnerable was how I’d felt, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud. Landon wouldn’t understand. “I’d just thought things were different with her. I mean, we talked. Shared stuff. I thought I knew her and I wanted her to know me.”
Landon nodded, and spared me the shit I’d assumed he’d give me. “Sounds a little out of character for a guy who divided women into two categories: those he worked with and those he shagged.”
I cringed at his accurate reflection of my relationships with women before Avery. Avery had felt like a friend, a partner, a soulmate. She wasn’t anyone to put in a category. “Yeah, Avery was different.”
I had to do something, make it up to her. She’d turned down that money from Cannon only to have me turn on her. And now, because of me, her brother’s insurance was fucked. “I’m going to need you to help me with some stuff. I don’t know how Cannon managed to get to the insurance company, but I need to find a way of setting it straight.”
“I have her address in Sacramento,” he said. “It’s just a private jet away.”
“Why would you want me to chase after this girl? I thought you didn’t understand monogamy?”
“I don’t, but it sounds to me like you have to have this girl.”
He was right. My pull toward Avery was as strong as ever. It had never wavered, even when I suspected the worst of her. But I couldn’t just turn up on her doorstep. I didn’t even know if she’d be there, let alone if she’d agree to see me.
“No, this is about paperwork. She suffered, her brother suffered, and all because Avery was part of the crew on the yacht I chartered. I can’t let that stand. She’s done nothing wrong, and yet her family is bearing the brunt of being associated with me. This isn’t about me getting what I want—even if I do want her. This is about me making things right for her and her family.”