Landon had said he wanted to have me again, and as delicious as that thought was, I had to put a stop to it. All my energy had to be focused on my job and my tip, not messing about with a junior deckhand.
“Wait, why? You two seem to have fun together.”
I wasn’t sure if fun was exactly what it was, but we were drawn to each other. “Yeah, well that’s all well and good, but not what I’m looking for.”
“Why on earth not? Four orgasms—you’re going to say no to that?”
Landon being so close by was a problem. He was too close. Too tempting.
“And it’s not like there’s anyone else that you like better around,” she said.
“I’m not saying no to Landon because I might meet someone else. I’m saying no to Landon because he’s Landon.” The things he did to me. The way he made me feel. It was too consuming. I liked him, I respected him, and it seemed to be mutual. The more I got to know him, the more of a threat he posed to my plan. My focus. My need to stay independent.
“And you don’t want Landon because he doesn’t tick all your boxes? No euphemism intended.”
Of course, I wanted Landon. I wanted him right that second. I wanted him to pull me into the shower and soap down my body before laying me out and doing very wicked things to me. “Landon’s not an option.”
“Well, we know he’s single. And he seems like a nice guy. What if he was rich? Would you want him then?”
“He’s not.”
“I don’t get it, Skylar—surely you want to be happy? You’ve got your list and you think if you meet a guy that can provide a tick against each one, that will make you happy, but what if you meet that guy and you don’t actually like him? There’s a lot to be said for . . . chemistry. For passion—great sex.”
I groaned. Chemistry and passion were what my parents shared. And that was exactly what I was trying to avoid. “Then I’ll end up on my own. It doesn’t scare me.”
“You’ll end up a lonely old cat lady.”
At least I’d be alive. And I liked cats.
“I just want to see you happy,” August continued. “Landon doesn’t have to be a forever man. You know what yachting’s like—everyone’s kinda passing through—you can just have a holiday romance and then walk away.”
The problem was, I didn’t know if I would be able to walk away, and I didn’t want to end up desperate for someone who ended up letting me down.
Last night had been last night.
“How did you leave things with him?” August asked after a few moments had passed.
I sucked in a breath. I’d run off in the middle of the night without telling Landon I was leaving. As much as I tried to tell myself that he’d be relieved that I wasn’t there when he woke up, something niggled at the back of my brain that told me he’d be pissed.
“I’m not sure how we left things. I just—August, it’s not as easy as you make it out.”
Landon had told me he wasn’t ready to walk away after last night. And instead, I’d run. But now, listening to August, who was convinced it was so easy, I wanted to believe her, go find Landon, and have him kiss me in that incredible way he did. Would it be possible to let my defenses down for just a few weeks? Could I tear up my list and just do what felt right rather than what my history was telling me I should do? For a summer?
Twenty-Four
Landon
After a night like last night, I should have been in a better mood. I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head as I kicked off my shoes before boarding the Sapphire. I’d woken up to an empty bed more disappointed than I had any right to be. I’d not changed my mind about wanting Skylar again, but she’d made it clear I wasn’t the man for her on several occasions. I was fucked off that she’d run off before I woke up, but I should have seen it coming.
“Hey,” Peter said. “You made it back right on time.”
I’d made the most of the hotel this morning. I wanted my irritation at Skylar to have simmered down before I saw her again, so I’d completed a punishing workout in the gym, watched some sports, and had a quick shower.
“I’ll change and then be ready for whatever,” I said.
“Where did you get to last night? You should have been with us at the club; we had such a good time. Foreign girls are so much hotter.”
I grinned, trying to pretend I was interested. “Did you get lucky?” I asked, ignoring his question to me.