I chuckled. “It is pretty. But I think I like the Tom Ford one best.”
“Tom freaking Ford? Are you serious? That’s ridiculous, Dexter. I don’t belong in a Tom Ford dress.”
I’d never bought a woman a dress before, but if I had, I couldn’t think that any one of them would belong in these dresses more than Hollie did. “Then take the Valentino,” I said, grinning at her.
She turned to me. “Valent—You need to take this back. I’m fine with Zara.”
“I think you should keep all four.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m upset about Autumn. But nothing’s going to stop the hurt of her thinking I wasn’t trying to do my best for her. I hope she knows by now I’d do anything to make her happy.”
“That’s why you’re such a great sister,” I said, pulling her toward me and kissing the top of her head. “I wish my brother had the same instinct to protect me that you have for Autumn.”
She sighed against my chest. “You said you haven’t spoken since your parents died.”
“No, not since I found out what he’d done.”
“Maybe he’s sorry.” She slid her arms around my waist.
“Doesn’t undo what he did.”
“True. But if he regrets it, wouldn’t it make it easier? Or if he had a reason? Don’t you want to ask him to justify what he did?”
After my parents’ death, it was as if I’d been sucked into a black hole of despair. I couldn’t remember the details; I just remembered finding out he’d sold my parents’ business and feeling as if I’d lost them all over again. “He was always the back-office guy—all about the money and profits. He never got the beauty of the jewelry. Never felt it in his soul like I did. I guess he saw the chance to get a pile of cash for not doing much and he took it.”
“But he didn’t say that to you, did he? He didn’t tell you that was the reason why.”
I sighed. I understood that Hollie would see it from David’s perspective but it was different. “I was always the one interested in the gems and spent my summers working in the shop. He wasn’t ever going to be that guy. He was always the one at the till, counting the coins. We’re not made the same way.”
“But you don’t know whether that’s the reason he sold the business,” she said, gazing up at me with those hypnotizing eyes.
“What other reason could there possibly be?”
“The only person who knows that is your brother.”
Or Primrose, I thought. But she’d honored her word and never mentioned my brother or the sale of the business. No doubt they’d talked about it. “I don’t want to dredge it all up again. They say the definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.”
“It’s not worth a conversation? He’s your only family, Dexter.”
My body went rigid. Beck, Gabriel, Joshua, Andrew and Tristan were my family. They were more my brothers than David had ever been. “He is not.” I twisted to pull away from Hollie but she locked her arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you have a very close circle of friends, and I know your brother upset you deeply.”
“Hollie,” I said. “You have no idea. After my parents died, my friends showed me it’s not your DNA or your blood that counts, it’s who you’re prepared to bleed for. If it hadn’t been for those guys, I might not have survived. I couldn’t function. I was driven half mad by guilt and grief and anger. I didn’t sleep for weeks, couldn’t hold a conversation for much longer. Part of me died with them. You don’t know how it was.”
I sucked in a breath, trying not to be overwhelmed at the memories of that time in my life. Trying to forget the darkness that settled in me and grew and grew until it nearly took me over. At nineteen, I’d been a legal adult, but it wasn’t until my parents died that I grew up.
“You’re right. I can’t begin to imagine how awful things must have been for you, Dexter. Nothing’s going to take that away. But you’ve got nothing to lose by asking him the question. And maybe it would help in a small way if you heard it from him, and he was apologetic and regretful. Maybe it would be closure.”
“I don’t need closure. I don’t need David. I need a time machine that will let me go back and change history.”
“Well, if I could, I would build you one with my bare hands. But take it from an older sister who has to parent a younger sister—it’s freaking hard. And you get it wrong all the time. All I can hope for is that she forgives me my mistakes and gives me a chance to explain myself.”