“That’s not the rent,” I said, seeing the number she’d put against it. “It’s going to be double that just for their apartment. Let alone mine.”
“Yeah, but I’m going to be paying half.”
God, I loved my sister. And her imagination wasn’t even the best part of her. “How do you think you’re going to be doing that?”
“I told you,” she said. “I’m going to get a job.”
“Yeah, and you’ll have to pay rent and bills and buy clothes—”
“I know. Which is why I need a paying job. I’ll have expenses and one of those will be half Mom and Dad’s rent.”
There was no point arguing with her. She’d find out soon enough that life wasn’t that easy.
“What was your rent in that studio in London? We’re planning for worst case because you’ll probably live with Dexter again, right?”
I wanted to dive into her fantasy and believe what she was planning could be a reality, but I was afraid I’d never be able to pull myself back into real life. And then what would happen? Too many people were depending on me. I couldn’t afford to have my head in the clouds. I needed to be real, keep my feet on the ground.
Autumn kept putting down numbers and I sat and watched, occasionally eyeing the whiskey bottle.
“It really hinges on you having a job,” she said. “So that should be your first priority. Can you hit up some of the people you met in London and see if anyone’s hiring?”
I could call Primrose. And Teresa from Sparkle. They might know where I could start looking. No—what was I thinking? “It’s impossible,” I said. “Even if we both got jobs and split the rent, I can’t just up and move to London.”
“Why not?”
“You want a list?” I asked. What about my situation wasn’t she getting?
“Sure. Let’s hear your excuses.”
“I only need two. Mom and Dad.”
“They are grown adults. If we’re keeping a roof over their heads, they can figure out the rest themselves.”
I half laughed, half sighed. “That’s not how they work. You know it’s just a matter of time before they get into some disaster that I’ll need to bail them out of.”
“Mom still has her job, which, may I remind you, she got while you were in London. Maybe they got themselves into trouble because they knew you’d be here to save them. Once you left . . .”
I rolled my eyes. That wasn’t true. Mom and Dad had been getting themselves into trouble since long before I was capable of cleaning up their messes.
“And even if that’s not true, they’re not your responsibility.”
I pushed out of my chair and headed over to the whiskey bottle. “Now you’re being ridiculous. Of course they’re my responsibility. Who else is going to look after them?”
“Hollie, they’re not children or dogs. They can figure it out. We can come back and visit but you’ve sacrificed your dreams long enough. Your entire life has been about providing for me or cleaning up after the two of them. I haven’t deserved your sacrifices, but I’m forever grateful for them. But you’ve done what you set out to do. I’m graduating. It’s time for you to live your life.”
I grabbed the bottle and brought it and the two shot glasses back to the table. Autumn’s growing independence had lifted a cloak of responsibility from my shoulders. I’d always be there for her in any way I could be, but the fact I wouldn’t be paying tuition would be a game-changer. “I’m so freaking proud you’re graduating. You worked hard for this. In and out of class.”
“I know,” she said. “But it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you.”
I’d supported Autumn because I loved her, and because it was the right thing to do. It was as simple as that.
“But now it’s time for you to focus on you.” She turned back to our plan. “You’ll be back in London in three months by my calculations. I’ll have a job by then. Mom gets healthcare if she stays at Trader Bob’s for twelve months.”
“Just like that?” I said, pouring out the whiskey.
“No, not just like that. With hard work and double shifts and weekends spent applying for jobs. But you can do it.”
I looked at her spreadsheet. It seemed to work on paper. “How can I just abandon Mom and Dad? What if Mom loses her job?”
“You’re not abandoning them. You’re just making something of your life. You’re not letting them dictate your future. They have a place to live and we can both come back and visit.”
She made it sound possible, like I could actually have the life I wanted rather than the one that had been assigned to me since birth.
“I suppose I could build up some savings and send them money if things get bad.”