“Thank you,” she said as she looked up at me. “I’m so disappointed. I thought I was about to make this final move away from my past. And without that job . . . I just don’t know where to go from here.”
I nodded. “I understand. But you don’t need to know where to go right away. You have time to figure it out.”
As I held her, I realized that the more I knew about Autumn, the more I liked her. Yes, I loved that she was sunny and positive and always looked for the silver lining. But I liked her even more as I understood why she was built like that. Most of all, I felt honored to be the man who got to pour her wine and hold her when the sky clouded over, not a sliver of sunshine in sight.
Twenty-One
Gabriel
I squeezed Autumn’s hand as she sat beside me in the cab on the way to the restaurant, trying to give her some wordless reassurance about tonight. So far, nothing I said had stopped her chewing her lip and digging her nails into my hand.
I hadn’t seen Dexter since Autumn told her sister about our relationship, and Autumn hadn’t seen Hollie since she’d told her about losing her job just over a week ago.
“I’m not sure I’m cut out for these fancy London restaurants, even though it’s my birthday,” she said. “I’m happy with meatloaf and a bottle of wine.”
“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” It would be much easier for me to stay at home with Autumn. Dexter was going to be pissed. His anger wouldn’t change anything—I wasn’t going to give up Autumn.
“Of course I have to go, are you kidding? Hollie has been planning this for weeks. And it will be nice,” she said as if she was convincing herself. “It’s good to get out and do things, and Hollie said the restaurant was amazing. Have you been before?”
“Maybe,” I replied. The name sounded familiar, but a restaurant was a restaurant as far as I was concerned.
“Apparently the bathrooms are eggs that open up or something.”
“Eggs?” Jesus, couldn’t London restaurants just have good food and good wine and leave the rest up to the people who were dining?
“Sounds weird. Anyway, it will give everyone something to talk about so hopefully they won’t focus on gossip.” Autumn wasn’t in her normally sunny mood tonight.
“These are very old friends, Autumn. They won’t be gossiping. Well, not about me or you, anyway. Dexter messaged me and said he wanted a word and so no doubt, we’ll have to speak but everything’s going to be fine.”
“It’s usually me telling you things will work out.”
“Right? What happened?”
“I just don’t want Dexter giving you a hard time. You and me . . . I’m a consenting adult.”
“You’re also Hollie’s sister. He’s got a right to be protective. If I had a little more self-control around you then it would have been easier.”
“Easier? It would be easier not to be with me?” Autumn’s clouds were out in force tonight, but I took it as a compliment that she was showing me what was going on inside her. I wasn’t sure there was anyone else in the world who got to see that.
“That’s not what I said.” She thought I had regrets, but I didn’t. Not one. “But I breached Dexter’s trust. And he deserves an apology and some reassurance from me.”
“Reassurance?”
“You know, that I’m not going to dick you around.”
“Have you ever dicked anyone around your whole life?” she asked.
“No one’s perfect.”
“If you say so.” She leaned against my shoulder and I pressed a kiss on the top of her head, thanking her for the compliment, despite it being far from true.
We lived together. She knew my flaws. She understood how demanding my job was and how most of the time, I liked to escape into my workshop rather than talk about what was going on. I was closed off and wary of letting anyone in. But here I was, holding this woman’s hand. This person who was almost all sunshine but was finally letting me see her clouds.
We pulled up in front of the restaurant and climbed the steps, where Dexter and Hollie stood waiting for us.
“It’s the birthday girl,” Dexter said as he greeted Autumn with a kiss. “And my one-time best friend.”
I sighed. “Are we going to have to duel?” I asked, shaking his hand.
He cocked his head, indicating a bar across the hall. He turned to Hollie. “Order us something and we’ll be there in a minute, will you?”
I pulled off my coat and unwrapped the scarf from my neck, and Dexter leaned against the bar.
“Don’t fuck her around,” Dexter said.
I nodded. “I won’t.”
“And she’s young, Gabriel. I don’t want either of you to get hurt because you’re not heading in the same direction.” He paused. “But relationships are messy and if you end up with your heart splattered on the wall, I’m here for you, mate.”