“I’ll tell you where to start,” Joshua said. “Tell Mike to fuck off and find another lawyer to harass.”
“Then resign from that firm,” Dexter said.
“And pick up your axe and do something nice with wood,” Tristan said.
“My axe?” They made it sound so simple. And in theory it was. In theory, there was nothing stopping me from handing my notice in.
“Worst-case scenario,” Andrew said. “You can always go back to law.”
Penelope had been right—I wasn’t my father. I wouldn’t make entertaining a series of nameless women my life’s work. If I left the law, I’d read my daughter a bedtime story more often. I’d spend more time in my workshop. I’d make pieces I’d only let myself dream of. I could travel.
Why had it taken my estranged wife to bring these thoughts to the surface? Or maybe it hadn’t been her at all. Autumn had been the one to insist I give myself a second chance at a future I’d dreamed of. Perhaps I’d just had time to examine those aspirations more closely and found that what I wanted had shifted.
“Great. Now we’ve figured out what Gabriel’s going to do for the rest of his life, can we get back to planning my stag party?” Dexter asked.
“Yes, back to our cauldron,” Joshua said. “What about Barcelona?”
Forty-One
Autumn
It was raining, and I had no appetite for bad weather. Instead of being out sightseeing, making the most out of my last few hours in Croatia, I’d packed and repacked my case at least nine times. I was due to fly to Paris this afternoon, but I didn’t want to go. How ridiculous was that? I was due to go to Paris, France, and I didn’t want to go.
I was homesick. Not for Oregon. But for London. For my sister. For Gabriel. And Bethany.
“You called at the perfect time,” Hollie said as she answered my videocall. “I’m deciding on napkins. To tell you the truth, Dexter decided on napkins and chose something ten times more expensive than we need, so I’m rechoosing napkins. Don’t say anything if you speak to him.”
“I promise. What are the options?” She held up two white napkins. “I prefer the plain ones.”
“Great. Me too. The coordinator was pushing the scalloped edges, but I prefer the plain white.” She collapsed onto the couch I recognized from her office. “So, haven’t spoken to you since you left Greece. How’s Zagreb?”
“Pretty. I wish you were here,” I said, a little too weary to keep my smile from faltering.
“I wish I was there too. I could have come out. You want me to see if I can get flights?”
“Hollie, you’re getting married in two weeks. You can’t come out now. And anyway, I’ll be back in London in six days.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” Hollie said.
“Same.” I didn’t have the energy to launch into how great the trip was, which was what I normally did when she told me she missed me. I didn’t want her to worry.
“You don’t sound like yourself. What’s the matter?”
I wasn’t sure whether or not Hollie was expecting me to have gotten over Gabriel by now, but we hadn’t mentioned him since I’d left London. “I miss you. I miss London.”
“Does that include Gabriel?” she asked.
I drew in a breath and prepared myself to disappoint my sister. “I’m so happy that I’ve had the chance to come to Europe, see all these amazing places. And I’ll never regret leaving. You might not like this, but as much as I wish you’d been here with me, I wish Gabriel and Bethany had been here too.”
She stared into the phone, her eyebrows pulled together, but didn’t say a word.
“It’s been weeks and I miss him more every day. Not less.” I thought back to the dinners Gabriel and I had been to at Hollie and Dexter’s place, and wondered how often he’d been there without me in the past month. It had taken me every ounce of willpower not to ask after him during every phone call. But just like I was out of energy, my self-control was at an all-time low.
Hollie’s frown might have been disapproving but it also might have been sympathetic. Did she know something I didn’t?
“Have you heard from him?” I asked.
“I was about to ask you the same question. I’ve been avoiding him,” she said.
“I told him I didn’t want to have any contact while I was away. I wanted him and Penelope to have a good shot at giving their marriage another chance.” A thousand times a day I’d wondered if that had been the right decision. He might have moved on already. He might have thought I’d given up on him. “You haven’t seen him at all?”
“Just once when I picked up Dexter. Wedding prep is a pain in my butt but it’s a great excuse not to have people around for dinner.”