“Good.” He separated the sliding doors and stepped inside wearing a proud smile.
I stepped in next and gasped. “Miles, what did you do?” The formerly empty room was decked out with a rather lavish picnic, complete with red and white gingham cloth and plenty of pillows. “This is…wow.”
“I’ll take wow,” he said with a proud smile. “It’s a good start.”
“I’ll say.” He helped me down onto a stack of pillows that made the hard wooden floors much more comfortable. “Smells like Indian.”
Miles shrugged. “Let’s call it a Middle East barbecue feast.” One by one, Miles uncovered each dish with a flourish and a smile just for me and I didn’t know which made my mouth water more, the food or the man.
“I’ll call it whatever you want, as long as I can put it in my belly.”
“Every last bite, if you want.” He took a seat opposite me, not so far away that we couldn’t touch if we wanted, but just far enough away that I could look at him while we talked and ate. “Try the barbecue curry chicken.”
I did and the moan I let out was one hundred percent erotic. “Wow. Better be careful, Miles or I might start think you’re after more than a healthy baby.” It was a joke, entirely, but his serious expression made my heart skip a beat.
“That’s because I am, Shannon. I’m after a lot more. In fact, I’m after forever.”
Forever. That one word bounced around in my head like a pinball until I shook it free. “Miles,” I began and then froze because I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to hear what he said next just as I wanted to believe he meant forever, but as much as I wanted it and longed for it, I wasn’t sure I could just let myself believe it.
“No Shannon. It’s my turn to talk now. You eat and listen.”
I opened my mouth on instinct, to argue or something, but the look Miles sent my way had my mouth snapping shut. I nodded, grabbing a piece of naan bread and stuffing it with the barbecue curry before I shoved it in my mouth and motioned for Miles to say what he had to say.
My heart though, could not be silenced so easily. That sucker raced like a speedster on the drag circuit and I had to strain my ears to hear him. “I wasn’t expecting you, Shannon. Not a sexy feisty redhead and certainly not becoming such good friends with a woman. I really wasn’t expecting to like you so damn much.”
Like. He said like, not love. I nodded, still chewing the suddenly dry and tasteless food. Now that I understood what this was, the letdown speech, I forced my body to relax.
“You were so damn unexpected that it brought up all the things I had tried to bury over the years. The shit with Shawn and Carly, the betrayal and yeah, even the heartache.” He let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. “How in the hell could I prepare for you?”
The bite in my mouth gone, I swallowed it down and shrugged. There was nothing to say when a man was determined not to love you.
“Then you ran back to California and I had to deal with this boring bland life, a life I used to love, without you. How could one little redhead become so important that my cereal doesn’t taste as good when you’re not around? My workouts don’t feel as invigorating when you’re not around to tease me about them? And then you said you loved me.” He sighed and I couldn’t quite decipher his emotions, but I really didn’t want to relive that moment.
“And you totally freaked out.”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “I did, but only a little.”
I snorted a laugh. “Miles.”
“Okay, more than a little but not because I didn’t share your feelings but because it had been a long damn time since any woman other than my mother said those words to me. I love you.” He laughed again. “Who knew three little words could feel so powerful?”
“Most of the world,” I deadpanned.
“Exactly. And the more I heard you say those words in my head, the stronger I felt. The more powerful those words became to me. If I was lucky enough that a smart and gorgeous, talented and kindhearted woman like you, could love me. I had to at least try to get over my shit. Right?”
I nodded.
Miles flashed a wide smile that felt a lot like resolve, like he’d made a decision and he was satisfied with it. “I love you, Shannon. I didn’t want to say those words to you until I was sure I could say them without freaking out, until I could stand behind those words with my actions. I love you. I love you.”