He buries his face in my neck. “Trixie and I are staying tonight.”
I smile, noting that he’s telling me, not asking. “I’d like that.”
Chapter Twenty
Dean
I don’t want to move. I’m afraid she’ll disappear. Or worse, start spiraling into a flurry of regrets. I can handle a lot of things, but if Abbi regretted this, it might break me.
She doesn’t seem in any hurry either, but I force myself to get up and take care of the condom. I bring back a warm washcloth, and love how soft her eyes are as I clean her up.
After I toss the washcloth back into the bathroom, I return to the bedroom to find she’s pulled the pink nightie back on. I still think it’s hot as fuck, but I scowl at it anyway. “Seriously?”
“What?”
I press my palm to my heart. “I’ve been working so hard to get you naked, and you’re going to cut me off so soon?”
She bites back a smile. “You’ll live, Dean.”
“Will I, though?”
“It’s not like I’m fully clothed.”
“True.” I climb into bed and slide my hand between her legs, pushing the satin up as I go. “I certainly don’t mind the easy access, but . . .” I slide back down into bed as I move my hand up her further, to her waist and then her breasts. “All of this is covered.”
She laughs and rolls toward me. “I suppose you’ll argue that I should spend time naked because that’s going to increase my confidence in bed?”
I would’ve argued that a few weeks ago, but our arrangement hasn’t even crossed my mind tonight. We’re together because we wanted to be, and I don’t want to remember there’s another purpose behind all this. But I push that from my mind and give her the answer she expects. “It’s true, isn’t it?” I roll on top of her, straddling her hips, and finish pulling up the slip until I’m tugging it off over her head. “That’s better.”
She glances down at herself and smiles. “How do you do that?” she asks as I flop to the bed beside her. “How do you make me see myself so differently?”
“I don’t make you see anything. You are beautiful.” I touch my index finger to her lips, then trail it down her chin, her neck, between her breasts and over her stomach. “I love this body.” I love you, I think. But I don’t say it. I know better, and after the reminder that this is just an arrangement to her, I can’t. Not yet.
She rolls to her side to face me, and we just lie there for a long time, looking into each other’s eyes. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“For giving you confidence?”
She shrugs. “Yeah. You make me feel beautiful—make me believe I am. I needed that. But also for seeing me and for being my friend.”
I dip my head and scrape my teeth across the swell of her breast, sucking briefly before looking her in the eye again. She’s gone all hazy-eyed. I love that. “I like being more than your friend, if you hadn’t noticed.” I sweep my mouth across hers. “A lot.”
She snags my bottom lip between her teeth and sucks, and I groan as my cock responds enthusiastically. “I’ve never done this before,” she says. “I’ve never lain in bed naked with someone after making love and just . . . talked.”
“Hmm, well, you’ve been missing out. Naked time is the best.”
Her smile is so bright for a beat, but then it falls away. “Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve been different if my first time had been with someone like you. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so screwed up.”
“Well, depending on how old you were, I probably would’ve volunteered, but then Kace would’ve beaten the crap out of me and busted up this pretty face, so . . .”
She laughs. “I was eighteen. Freshman year of college.”
It could’ve been me, I think, but lucky for me and my face, it wasn’t. “So . . . Cody?” I ask, and she nods. She brought him home with her a couple of times that following year, and I hated him on the spot. He acted like he was too good for Abbi. “You two were together so long, he probably set the tone for a lot of things.”
“In some ways.” She shrugs. “What about you?”
I cringe. “Do I have to answer that?”
She pokes me in my sides, tickling me. “Yes.”
Grabbing her hands, I roll over onto her and pin them over her head. “I was sixteen. It happened at a party with a girl from school.”
“Who?” Abbi demands, because this is a small town and chances are she’ll know her.
“Addison Clairmont.”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course. Blond, cheerleader, brilliant. Did she rock your world?”
I release her hands and prop myself on my elbows, taking some of my weight off her. “I mean, I was sixteen and it was sex, so . . . pretty much?” We laugh, and I love that there’s no real jealousy in her eyes. There shouldn’t be. “But back then, I had no idea how good it could be. Hell, I’d never been in love. I guess at least you had that with Cody, even if he was completely unworthy of you in every other way.”