Just One Look

16

Fawn

I try to keep a smile pasted on my face as I enter my gram’s place. This week has been really hard. My emotions are all over the place.

“Fawn.” Grams, who’s standing at the kitchen sink, turns to look at me. “Can I get you some tea?”

“Let me.” Since coming here, Grams is doing a million times better. I’m not even sure she needs the nurse at this point. I’m not going to suggest that, though. I like that there is a nurse checking in on her a couple times a week to make sure everything is going well.

She might catch something sooner than me. Roman also told me if at any time I need her to see a doctor he can have one here in a few hours. The man was not kidding when he said he’d do anything for me. I have to admit it's nice to have someone take care of me.

Grams goes and sits down at the small table as I prepare our tea. “Are you going to tell me why you’re so mopey?”

“What? Why do you say that?” The woman reads me too well. I should have known she’d be able to tell something is bothering me. Her doctor pulled her off a few medications they’d had her on when she was in the other facility, saying it was overkill and she didn't need them. Since then, Grams has been sharper. I’ll forever be grateful to Roman for doing this for us.

“Your eyes. You were all bright smiles last week.” True. Since Roman told me he loves me I’ve been on cloud nine. He is the first person to truly love me besides Grams since my mom passed away. It’s nice, and for the first time in my life I can relax and let things go.

“Ace started school.” I know he’s only been in my life for a short time, but I love that little boy. The first few days of him not being home with me were really tough, but he’s loving it.

“I get that, but there’s more.” She waits. I set her tea in front of her.

“The kittens are growing too fast?” I try again. She stares at me, waiting for me to tell her the main reason. I sit down in the chair across from hers. “Roman doesn’t tell me that he loves me.”

“That man loves you. I can promise you that.” She picks up her tea and takes a drink.

“I know. He told me he loves me but only one time; he never says I love you. Not when we wake up or when we go to bed.” I stop there, not wanting to broach the subject of our sex life.

“Do you say it to him?” I shake my head no. I am in love with Roman. I was before we even had our fight two weeks ago. It’s why I’d gotten so worked up thinking he only considered me one of his employees. I clearly had wanted to be way more than that or I wouldn't have been so pissy.

“No,” I admit.

“Is that all?” I shake my head no. I’m not sure I want to share the other part with her.

“Fawn, I can handle sex talk.” My mouth falls open. She smirks while taking another drink of her tea. “Back in the day I had a line of men trying to marry me.”

“Grams.” I laugh. I don’t doubt it. She was beautiful.

“So tell me,” she pushes.

“Roman doesn't have sex with me.” She gives me a confused look. “He does other things.” My face is heating by the second.

“Have you ever….” I shake my head no again. “How is that possible?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Lucky you, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

“I don’t want you to get mad,” I start off because I don’t want her opinion to change about Roman. He may not have gone about getting me to marry him the right way, but his heart was in the right place.

“I make no promises.” She sits up straighter. I spill everything, needing someone to talk to about this. Why isn’t the man having freaking sex with me? He's driving my body crazy.

She reaches over, placing her hand on top of mine. “I’m sorry John is such a piece of shit, honey.” That was not what I thought she was going to say. He is, after all, her son. “I thought he was handling everything.” She closes her eyes, shaking her head. “I had the money. He must have drained the accounts.”

“Gambling.”

“I suppose he did one good thing for you. He brought Roman into your life.”

“I thought you were going to be mad.” I was sure of it, but I wanted her to know the truth.

“Mad? You two are in love. A man doesn't trap a woman into marrying him unless he’s in love. Furthermore, he hasn’t pressed for sex either.” She has a point.