But then his face at the end flashed through my mind. How he’d looked at me like he didn’t even know me. Asking if the baby was even his. How could he ask me that? After everything we’d been through? It was just a stupid name! I’d told him more about my past than I’d ever shared with anyone. I’d shared myself, my body, my innermost thoughts and dreams and hopes and—
I ran harder, as if the more distance I put between me and the Oleander, between me and him, the less it would hurt.
God, I’d been so stupid. Why was I even still thinking about him?
He didn’t want me.
Of course he didn’t.
I’d been through this before.
Finding my mother’s cold, lifeless body as a child. Wanting her to wake up, but of course she never would. She’d left me behind because I wasn’t worth staying for.
Tina leaving me in the dust when something better came along.
“It’s just you and me, baby,” I gasped through hiccupping sobs, finally slowing down and bending over, sucking in gulps of air by the side of the road. Towering oak trees swayed overhead, lining both sides of the road. Wind sang through the leaves, rustling and making sunshine dance around me in mockery of my pain.
I swiped at my eyes with my forearm. God, I was being ridiculous. I’d picked myself up before from devastating losses and I would this time too. I pulled my phone out and turned it on. Except of course the battery was dead after three months, so I couldn’t even order an Uber, just my fucking luck.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing out here?”
I spun around in shock at Beau’s voice to see him jogging up from the road behind me.
My mouth dropped open before I waved an arm. “I’m leaving. What does it look like?”
He looked at me, bewildered. “What the fuck, Ab— Whatever your name is.”
I glared at him. Anger was easier than hurt in this moment. “Consuela.”
“Fine. Consuela. What do you think you’re doing out here, in this heat? It’s not safe for the baby.”
Ah. Of course. “I’ll be fine, thanks. I’ve been taking care of myself for a surprisingly long time before you came along.”
“You weren’t carrying my baby before.”
I spun on him and shoved my finger in his face. “You don’t get to be a controlling asshole just because you put a kid in me. I’ll text you the address where you can send child-support.”
Then I turned and started stomping back down the road, away from him.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, he followed. “What the hell, Ab— Consuela.”
“It’s Connie. I go by Connie, okay? Something you’d know if you remembered anything about the first night we met.”
“Jesus Christ would you just stop stomping away from me and let me talk?”
I huffed out a furious breath and stopped, turning back toward him and crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine. Talk.”
“God, woman. You are so damn stubborn.”
I lifted an eyebrow as if to say, yeah, and?
“And I fucking love you.”
I shook my head even as my chest seized up. “Stop it.”
He looked flabbergasted. “Stop what?”
“Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”
His face gentled and he took a step forward. “But I do mean it. I’m going to give that baby the Radcliffe name, but that’s not all I want. I want to give you my name too.”
I shook my head again, another tear escaping and slipping down my face.
He took another step closer. “Is that not what you want? Did you not mean what you said earlier when you said you loved me?”
“Of course I meant it,” I spat out.
He smiled and I wanted to both smack it off his face and jump him at the same time. Damn infuriating man.
“We can be the family that neither of us ever had,” he said. “I’ll inherit my father’s company. That’s why I had to stay there and accept their robe and go through all that bullshit. I couldn’t jeopardize the future and stability I’ll need for you and our son. It was more important than ever. But it killed me to see you leave that room and not follow you.”
I couldn’t hold myself back from him any longer. I threw my arms around his neck.
He sighed in relief. “There she is.”
I clung to him and for the first time, I actually believed it. Oh God, I believed it.
He loved me. He wanted me. There was no Order forcing him to accept my equal claim on this child, no money giving me equal power. He was choosing me freely. Choosing a life with me, choosing to be father to our son. Choosing to be a good man. Because it was simply who he was.
I buried my face in his neck and clung to him. “I love you so much,” I said.