I take out a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe my face. It’s not the first time someone, even someone like her, has thought so little of me they did the same.
“Let’s get one thing straight, princess. I may like how your body fits around mine. I may enjoy the sweet little noises you make as you come, but it will never be enough to make me keep you. You, and your family, stand for everything I’m against. I’d rather take a fucking goat to my bed than keep you to warm it.”
She gapes at me, her mouth hanging open now. “You really hate me that much?”
Like a wild animal attacking its prey, I’m on her in a flash, letting most of my weight rest against her until she is completely locked in my hold, her face inches from mine. I lean down and bite her bottom lip hard, relishing in the small whimper that escapes her throat. I want her fire, her hatred.
“And while we’re on the subject. You belong to me. Every inch of your body, from your mouth to your asshole, is mine to do with as I please. If you fight, I’ll only make sure it hurts worse and that you’re not satisfied at the end of it. Are we clear?”
She whimpers, and I squeeze her tighter. “Are we clear, princess? A nod will do for me to ensure you understand.”
Instead of answering, she squeezes her eyes tight, and after a heartbeat, she nods once.
I peel myself off her and stand up to straighten my cuffs. “I’m glad we had this little chat. I’m disappointed in how quickly you forgot, stellina. How my lesson from last night didn’t make things clear. If I have to teach you another lesson, I won’t be as gentle.”
“Are you not going to untie me?” she asks when I start toward the door.
“I’ll be back later.” I grin like the bastard I am.
I’m not surprised when I find Soo waiting on the other side of the door, monitoring our interaction, missing nothing. “You good?”
I nod and step into the hallway, leaving the door ajar behind me. Let her hear what I say next, since I know she’ll enjoy listening in. “Set the auction for tomorrow night. Get everything in motion and follow up about that meeting we discussed. Once I get her off my plate, I can work on more important matters.”
Soo nods and glances back at the door one last time. Then he stalks away, no doubt already calculating and plotting any weakness.
I, too, stare at the door, waiting for her to call after me, either begging or demanding to be untied. When she doesn’t, I turn back to my office and take up my place behind the desk. Things are better this way. If she believes me the monster she’s built up in her head, she’ll better protect herself mentally for the next monster who is about to enter her life.
If she sees all of us that way, then she’ll continue to fortify herself. And then, and only then, will she be able to function in this world where the only winner is the biggest monster.
21
Celia
I don’t throw myself pity parties. I didn’t when my sister died or when my father told me he was arranging my marriage. I’m a firm believer that crying over something doesn’t change the outcome. Right now, I’d give myself a few seconds to feel what I’m feeling and then push past it. I’ve concluded that there is no way out of this house. I’m resigned to that fact. My escape attempt proved useless.
Still, every second that passes, I wonder how I’ll live through this hopelessness that’s swamping me? Dragging me under in wave after wave of despair? Nicolo intends to sell me. He hasn’t once deviated from that plan, and yet I keep trying to make him see I’m worth more than a paycheck, more than revenge.
I guess it’s stupid to hope I’d gotten through to him. When he kissed me last night, I saw stars. Even though it was little more than teeth and tongues tangling roughly, it was the first time I felt him with me when we were together. Every other time, as he so eloquently puts it, I felt like little more than a wet hole. My ignorance of sex stamped across my forehead for him to mock.
It’s the ignorance he enjoys when he touches me, and it’s his touch that I enjoy so much. I enjoy how his breathing quickens and his heart beats faster against me. He wants me, but he doesn’t want to admit it.
The proof of all of that is me being tied to the bed. I still can’t believe he just left me here. I’d never been so ashamed as when Sarah walked in. He made sure my legs are open so everyone walking in gets a magnificent view of my most private parts.