Fake Love - For Now (Big Men of Blue Mountain 3)

“Probably louder than you.” I roll my eyes.

Asher is actually tearing up, and he wipes his eyes before gathering himself. “You know I can’t scold you for shit. But seriously, man, go for it. After Rose, I don’t doubt that when love hits, it hits, and we all want you to be happy. Besides, when it does hit, that’s the end of it.”

“Wait a second,” I say, holding my hand out. “This isn’t love. I just told you so that you and Leo and the girls don’t let the cat out of the bag the rest of the weekend while I’m pretending to be engaged to her.”

My friend smirks. “Whatever you say, man. Rose and Diana are down in the city. I’ll let them know when they get back. And Leo, when he’s not on the river.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing. And Hudson, if you need anything from us, just tell us. We’ve been there. We know how it goes.”

I shake my head again. “It’s not the same, Asher.”

“Okay.”

“It’s not,” I say as I open the door and leave the office. “It’s not.”

I say the words to convince myself, but I’m not sure that I believe them.

9

Erin

How my parents ever really believed that I came here to do outdoor things is amazing to me. Hiking? Sure. Maybe archery. But white water rafting is definitely not my speed. It’s too chaotic and too loud, and by the time that the three-hour trek down the river is done and we’re driving back to the launch point, I’m exhausted.

It’s not like I got the best sleep last night either.

The entire time that we were on the river I could feel my parents watching me. But they didn’t ask me anything because I’d asked them to keep things quiet. So now that we’re back, I’m completely unsurprised when they pull me aside to speak with me alone. Hudson isn’t here, and I can tell that they’ve been dying to talk to me alone since the moment they left my guest house this morning.

“Are you okay, Erin?” Mom asks.

We look a lot alike. We’re about the same height and both have red hair. When I was younger, there were a couple times that we were mistaken for sisters. But right now she’s looking at me with genuine concern. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

She just looks at me, still shellshocked. “I’m just so surprised. And I don’t understand why you felt that you couldn’t tell us. Did you think that we wouldn’t be supportive?”

I don’t know what to say to that because of course they would be supportive. When I didn’t get into vet school, they weren’t disappointed at all. They said that it would be nice to have me home for a while and that maybe we could plan a trip during the gap year. They said they knew how hard I’d worked and that I needed time off.

And I didn’t know how to handle it. I was so devastated and so disappointed. I didn’t know how to take a break. I still don’t. That’s why I’ve been at the clinic, hoping that the extra time and effort on my résumé will help me if my test scores are still too low next time.

It doesn’t matter that I’m speechless because my parents have plenty to say. “Of course it’s unexpected,” my dad says. “But I have to say that it’s not entirely unwelcome.”

Mom reaches out and takes my hand. “We’ve seen how unhappy and overworked you’ve been this last year. And all we want is for you to be happy. Even if you keep going and become a vet, we hope that this will make you happy.”

“I—”

“Have you and Hudson set a date? I think this could be a really beautiful place for a wedding if you wanted to do it here.”

“Obviously we don’t know Hudson well and we want to spend some time with him,” my dad says. “But so far he’s struck me as responsible and kind. That’s something that I can live with.”

We’re walking back towards the main lodge, and Mom slings her arm over my shoulders. “When we get back, should we schedule appointments to look at dresses? That could be fun, right? Maybe we could go to a few places. And the minute that he gets you a ring, you have to show me.”

Dresses? Rings? Oh my God, my mother is more excited about this fake wedding than I am. But she doesn’t think that it’s fake. She thinks that it’s real. Oh fuck, what’s going to happen when Hudson and I ‘break up’? Is she going to be so devastated that she hates me? Hates Hudson?

My heart is pounding in my chest. This can’t actually be happening right now. I should tell them the truth, but I can’t seem to make my mouth open. If I tell them the truth, they’re going to be so disappointed and I’m already a disappointment to them because of my failure, no matter if they say so or not.