Fake Love - For Now (Big Men of Blue Mountain 3)

Having Hudson’s cock so deep feels like a brand. Like it’s life-altering and I can never go back. And when he starts to move. To fuck. Slamming into me so hard that I can’t breathe, my mind spins full of possibilities.

What would it be like to always have this? Impossible chemistry and pleasure coupled with calming influence? What would it be like to really be engaged to Hudson and know that this would never end, and we’d have forever?

And why is that what I’m thinking about right now?

But now that I’ve had the thought, I can’t stop it. I’ve never connected with anyone like this before, and obviously I’ve never had sex like this before. Even as I think the thought, the friction of Hudson’s cock drives me higher into my second orgasm, and I let him hear it, begging for more.

He gives it to me. I’m shaking around him, squeezing down onto his cock. Begging.

This kind of thing doesn’t happen this fast. It can’t. It’s not actually possible. Is it?

Don’t be silly, Erin. Love at first sight doesn’t exist.

At the same time, the feeling echoes around in my chest over and over. What if? What if?

I wrap myself around Hudson’s body, urging him harder and faster, until I break around him with a scream that shakes the walls of the tent and pours out into the empty night around us. He comes a second later, matching my voice with his own, and emotion hits me out of nowhere.

What the fuck am I doing? Did I stumble into something I desperately needed without knowing it? I already feel myself getting pulled in too far and too deep. What happens when we have to break up and I’m the one who’s going to be heartbroken?

The kiss that Hudson presses to my lips erases my fear, just like I knew it would, and I push everything aside. I let him wrap me up in his arms, and I let myself fade into luxurious, perfect, sleep.

12

Hudson

The light of morning seeps through the walls of the tent, and I am in so much trouble.

When Leo fell in love with Diana, it seemed fast. Impossibly fast. But I shrugged it off because when you know, you know, and they seemed perfect for each other.

Then Asher married Rose, and even though it wasn’t for a good reason, it stuck. And I kept smiling because they were my friends, and when people you love get that lucky, you don’t ask questions.

But there’s no way that lightning strikes three times like this.

Unless it has.

Because right now I feel like my life is unravelling and being put together all at the same time. Erin is lying across my chest, breathing deeply, still asleep. And waking up with her like this fills me with a certainty and comfort that I’ve never had before.

For the first time in a long time, I’m not questioning where I am or what I’m doing. I’m not worried about everything that’s changing or how I fit into this new world that I’m not used to, because Erin—making sure she feels safe and protected—gives me a focus that I’ve been missing.

I knew that I was lonely. But I hadn’t realized exactly how lonely until I said it out loud to her. And Asher yesterday, with his laughing and telling me that love hits hard. I’m starting to think that he might be right. And frankly, that’s terrifying.

There’s way too much attachment to this woman for it to even be real. But I don’t care. Especially when her body is stretched across mine, perfect and sated. I stroke my hand over her hair, feeling the silk of it between my fingers.

Fucking hell.

A lightning bolt rips through my chest and I have a moment of clarity like I’ve never experienced before.

I want this engagement to stay real. I want to help her achieve all of her dreams of becoming a vet and then bring her home every night and fuck her until she screams my name. I want to make her laugh and smile so that all the shadows leave her eyes, and pull her with me on these little camping trips so that I can spread her out under the stars.

All this time I’ve been struggling with what I needed and where I wanted to be. I’ve felt lost, and I didn’t know what my soul needed, but now I know that it needs her.

Erin stirs on my chest, and as she moves, there’s an ache inside me. A sudden conviction that I don’t know how to voice. So when she looks up at me, sleep still clinging to her, I don’t say anything. I just roll over her and kiss her as hard as I dare.

The need to imprint myself on her is roaring inside me. I still have some time—I can convince her to stay. To be mine. Because there’s no part of me that believes that she doesn’t feel this too. With both Asher and Leo, I was skeptical. Now I’m a believer.